The Official Fanfiction University of Olympus
by Regardless1604
Summary: The Olympians, along with their children, are tired of being put into terrible fanfiction. Now these badfic writers and rabid fanbrats will learn their lesson—the hard way. Never will they think of fanfiction the same way. Enrollments are closed.
1. Chapter 1

**I finally got this story on! I'm so happy! I've loved Official Fanfiction Universities ever since I discovered them, and I couldn't wait to write one myself. And besides, with all of this badfic polluting the _Percy Jackson_ archive, this is something some people could use. I've put quite a bit of planning and researching into this, so hopefully, I can pull this off. Please enjoy :)**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own anything relating to the copyrights of Percy Jackson and the Olympians or the Heroes of Olympus. And I most definitely do not own the idea of the OFU, I give complete credit to misscam, who owns all rights to this idea, with her original Official Fanfiction University of Middle-earth. Nor do I own any other series that I may or may not make reference to._**

**Chapter One—Of Weird Dreams and Enrollments**

_"Hmmm… what to do, what to do?" _an insanely tall man—at least fifteen feet tall—brooded around his throne room._ "Perhaps we should smite all of the puny mortals for making these… these utterly despicable pieces of writing. If you can even call them that."_

_"My lord," _his wife interrupted his pacing._ "You should hold off destroying the entire human race, just because _some_—__" _she said with distaste,_ "—of these insignificant mortals twist us into their likings."_

_"I guess that is… is… more reasonable." _he choked on the words, but they came out, nonetheless._ "But what shall we do to stop this treachery?"_

_"How about a university? Some place where we can teach them to improve their grammar and literary knowledge." _another said wisely, her intense grey eyes taking in this dilemma.

_"Nah, that's boring. How 'bout we crush their puny skulls!" _her half-brother said cruelly._ "And torture them 'till they get things right. We'll get some wicked guns and knives and chainsaws and—" _he was cut off by a sharp look from the others.

Another one on the council—one of the elder ones—sighed in exasperation. _"All of your ideas are incredulous. Why don't we force them to eat cereal for the rest of their lives until they learn—not that that's a bad thing, though."_

This sent all the immortal beings into a petty quarrel, arguing over which method would work the best to put these ravaging fangirls—and fanboys—at bay.

_"Silence!" _a young man with blonde hair and a blinding smile yelled. Everyone in the large room stopped bickering at his sudden outburst._ "Perhaps the best decision would be," _he paused dramatically for effect, then spread his arms like it was evident._ "Combine our ideas to make one great one!"_

The rest pondered this for a second, and then the grey eyed one spoke slowly._ "He does have a point… it could very well work."_

_"Why thank you! I would have to say it was one of my more brilliant ideas."_

_"One of your only." _his twin muttered.

_"Hey!"_

_"Oh no, don't you two start arguing again, I will have none of it!" _the queen said harshly._ "And I think we have a plan. Besides, torturing demigods? No problem for me. Torturing fanbrats… well, things just keep getting better and better." _she smiled wickedly, which made some of the others nervous.

_"We need to come up with a brochure and application for the new school." _the wise one said._ "Let's get started."_

* * *

><p>A girl woke up, lifting her head off of a hard desk that substituted as her pillow. "Boy, was that a weird dream." Chloe O'Brien rubbed her temples and looked up at her computer's screensaver. She must've fallen asleep while typing up a story for her favorite fan fiction site. The preteen read over the begging of her new one-shot with satisfaction.<p>

_Monsters looked hungrily at Luke and the person beside him and they charged, killing all of them which wasnt to hard by the way because each one was a exalent fighter with their bronz swords. After all thta layed around was piles of sand and the two put there swords away. Luke scooped up his love and they kissed passionately. When they separates from each other Luke looked deep into his companion's eyes "Please, please, why wont you come with me? I could give you the world my dear!" But the other demigod shook there head "Im so sorry Luke but I cant cause I have obligations to my friends." "Please Im begging you Percy—"_

Wow, wait, did she just seriously put _Percy's_ name in there? All the slash she'd been reading must've finally caught up with her. Though she thought Luke and Percy did make such a… a _delicious_ couple. But deciding that's not what she was aiming for, Chloe brushed her bushy bangs out of her eyes and deleted Percy's name, replacing it with _Frodo_.

Frodo was a character from _Percy Jackson_, right? She wasn't quite sure, considering she had only read the first two books thoroughly, just so she could see Luke. Once she found out that Luke was sickly in the third book—The Titan's Purse, or something stupid like that—she only read bits and pieces of the other books. Besides, she wasn't really into reading _real_ stuff; she just liked reading fan fiction and writing slash, and other fluffy stories.

"Hmm… maybe I'll just put my name in there. Yeah, that flows better." she retyped _Chloe_ into the messy paragraph. Just as the preteen started a new sentence, a window popped up on her computer. Words in bright red letters read: PLEASE CLICK CONTINUE BEFORE YOU CONTINUE THIS SUCKY FIC.

She clicked the CONTINUE button without any more hesitation than being lightly offended. I mean, if something pops up on your computer, it's there for a reason, right? Next a letter addressed to her popped up.

_Dear stupid fic writer which we hate with all of our hearts and wish to see burn in Tartarus,_

_It has come to our attention that you are writing original pieces of fiction based off of already existing copyrighted material (aka, fanfiction) which is tearing down the names of ever so popular characters. We are taking you to an Official Fanfiction University, or OFU, to correct your mistakes and nasty habits when dealing with: grammar, story plots, original characters, canon, and anything else that has to do with writing original fiction and fanfiction alike. We will be taking you in the morning, the middle of the night, or right now, whichever we deem most reasonable, so that you cannot continue writing and/or publishing these monstrosities which constantly inflict eyesores upon our precious society. We will grind, sear, or imprint these necessary abilities to becoming a respectable author into your brain with our own methods. After you sign the waver at the end of this message, we will hold no responsibility to any injuries, minor, major, or fatal that you may acquire, or sudden death during your stay here at the Official Fanfinction University of Olympus. We truly have your best interests at heart, even if we must beat the living heck out of you to help you establish these abilities. And trust me when I say this, we_ love _beating fanbrats like you._

_Have a nice stay!_

_Sincerely,_

_Ms. Harvest, Course Coordinator at OFUO_

Chloe briefly skimmed over the letter, and clicked the next button. A long list of questions came next, and a brief paragraph telling her to answer every question, whether she knew what it meant or not.

"Cool, I guess. It's sort of like a poll." she murmured and scrolled down.

**First and last name, fanfiction account name, and any titles you wish to be known by: **_Chloe O'Brien, ff acount is SparkleRoseFlowerLukey-Pie._  
>Don't ask.<p>

**Gender: **_girl_

**Age: **_13_  
>Well, actually, she was twelve, but she was dying to be a teen.<p>

**What species are you? E.g. Mortal, demigod, monster, or any other mythological specie (centaur, nymph, satyr, ect.): **_demigod would be so totally epic! I would like slash through monsters with swords and stuff and my parent would be so cool if it Zues cause like their is no other Zues children out there except that tree girl and her hot brother  
><em>She decided she had written too much and tried to backspace, but the button seemed to have lost its abilities.

**If you are a demigod, who is your preferred parent: **_like I said before Zues_

**If you are a nymph, which species (tree, river, ocean, wind, ect.): **_im not a nymph!  
><em>Now she started to get irritated with these stupid questions.

**If you are a mortal, can you see through mist: **_um sure i guess.__Being able to sea threw this thick Maine fog could help alot  
><em>She figured demigods are mortal, right? They die too.

**If you are a mortal, do you have any special abilities (do not fill this out if you are anything relating to mythology): **_well im a semigood artist_

**If you are a girl, are you a Hunter of Artemis: **_no  
><em>All Chloe knew was that they were a bunch of people who hunted animals, and that that "tree girl" Thalia had joined them in the end of the third book. She didn't like the idea of having to kill precious animals, so she quickly typed _no_.

**If you are anything but mortal, are you Greek or Roman: **_greeks rule the world man!  
><em>She almost wrote _Roman_ just because Jason was, and he was almost as good as Luke. But of the little she knew about the Heroes of Olympus, she did indeed know that the Greeks and Romans were sworn enemies, and she couldn't imagine hating her "Lukey-Pie."

**Please describe appearance, personality and attitude, catchphrases, accents, or anything else that describes yourself: **_blond hair and sparkling black eyes and flawless tan skin and pretty makeup and i like being sarcastic and mean to those i hate but im still a nice person and normal accent and i say blech alot  
><em>Okay, so she didn't have black colored eyes, nor did she have anywhere close to flawless tan skin. But hey, making people she didn't know think she looked different than she really did was fun.

**Your favorite food: **_mac n when theres not enuf cheese its all dry and blech  
><em>Chloe didn't bother to wonder why there was such a weird question in the midst of this survey.

**Your weapon of choice: **_a sword just like lukes! half selstial bronze and half iron and it comes out of a pen like Percys!  
><em>She really didn't understand the significance of Luke's or Percy's swords, but she thought it sounded cool.

**Your fatal flaw: **_prob falling for Luke_  
>Well, it <em>was<em> true, she thought.

**Any fears you may have: **_spiders_ _and snakes and Luke dying and icky colors like urple_

**Do you side with the gods or titans: **_gods i guess_  
>She didn't remember seeing anything about titans in the <em>Lightning Thief<em> movie. She just knew they were a football or basketball team or something to do with sports.

**Which children of Gaea do you prefer, gods, titans, or giants: **_gods?  
><em>Again, what's with the titans? And what giants? And who is Gaea? Chloe had never heard of her, much less knew how to pronounce her name.

**How many of the books have you read: **_the first two all the way thru and all the rest but only the parts with Luke and like some of the parts with Percy and a lot of the new one with jason_

**What does the term canon mean: **_like something you shoot giant bullets out of like on pirate ships_

**What does the term Mary Sue or Gary Stu mean to you: **_Like the name of a perfect person that is totally awesome  
><em>Nor did she seem to get that a Mary Sue is _bad_.

**Your object of affection/desire or lust object: **_Lukey-Pie! Cause hes just so hawt ;)_

**Why: **_I already put it up their!_

**Your favorite character(s): **_Luke and Percy and Anabeth_

**Your least favorite character(s): **_piper cause shes such a cry baby_

**Which genres do you enjoy reading and writing: **_romance romance romance!_

**Do you read or write slash: **_yep! but i read it more than right it_

**Do you read or write lemon: **_of course! its so yummi!_

**Who are your favorite couples: **_Lukabeth!_

**Are you a fangirl or fanboy: **_Lukey fangirl all the wayz!_

**What did you think of the _Lightning Thief_ movie: **_It was pretty epic and awesomeness._

**What did you think of the actors in the _Lightning Thief_ movie: **_logan lermon was pretty cute and alexandra Didario played an awesome anabeth and I probably couldnt pick a better person for her and jake Abel! He's sooooooooooooo hot! He played my Lukey-Pie perfectly!_

The NEXT button at the bottom looked welcoming, and when it was pressed, the computer shot out a touch screen pad so Chloe could sign. "Didn't know it could do that…" she murmured.

**BY SIGNING THE WAVER BELOW, YOU ARE SIGNING AWAY YOUR RIGHTS TO US. PLEASE NOTE THAT YOU MAY NOT SUE US IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM IF YOU ACQUIRE ANY INJURIES DURING YOUR STAY. THANK YOU.**

**SIGNATURE:**

_X Chloe O'Brien_

**Please enjoy your stay!**

Nothing else appeared after that, so Chloe just dismissed it as some random pop-up survey. Then her eyes were drawn to the bottom of her screen.

"Two in the morning?" she screeched, then covered her mouth. She wasn't supposed to be up this late! Tomorrow was graduation, and she couldn't have bags under her eyes—it was her big day! It was only graduation from junior high, of course, but that didn't change anything for her.

The girl hastily shut her laptop and leapt for her bed, but then realized she had forgotten something. She rushed back to the computer, opened it up, and checked her e-mail. Nope, no new reviews on her stories. Chloe growled and shut it again, thinking of how she was going to get back at her readers for not reviewing.

The preteen had a nasty habit of closing her computer then opening it back up to see if she had any new reviews. _Every five minutes_. Oh, and she had threatened her readers multiple times that if she didn't get any reviews on her latest chapters, she wouldn't update until she did. Yep, those losers would surely beg for her to forgive their incompetence—whatever that means—so that they could continue reading her awesome stories!

She jumped back into bed, and dreamed happily of becoming a high schooler, completely oblivious to the horrors that awaited her in the morning.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So, I am accepting enrollments! Please fill out the form that was in the first chapter and PM it to me. And _only_ PM it to me, please do not send it in via review. I will try my best to get everyone into this story :)**

**~Ms. Harvest**

**[EDIT- 12/28/11] Enrollments are no longer open. Please do not send me any more, I hate rejecting them. Thanks for understanding.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I have a good feeling about this story :) Big thanks to everyone who is supporting it, and please read the author's note at the bottom, as that it is quite important.**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own anything relating to the copyrights of Percy Jackson and the Olympians or the Heroes of Olympus. And I most definitely do not own the idea of the OFU, I give complete credit to misscam, who owns all rights to this idea, with her original Official Fanfiction University of Middle-earth. Nor do I own any other series that I may or may not make reference to. **_

**Chapter Two—Meet the Course Coordinator**

It was an extra stormy day over Manhattan, which, of course, had _absolutely nothing_ to do with the fictional projection of Olympus hovering over it and the mass chaos about to rain down upon it. But that really has nothing to do with anything, so why don't we get on with the real storyline.

Milo Flint ran down the halls of a temple-like building, papers flying out of her crowded arms. "Where is she?" the PPC agent muttered. She passed a boy, then skidded to a halt. "You—yeah, you. Will, right? Have you seen A.J.?"

"Um, my name is Lee. And who's A.J.?" the boy looked confused and irritated at the same time.

"A.J. Lease? Um, dark brown hair, glasses?"

"There's a lot of people with that description." Lee raised an eyebrow.

"Ugh," Milo shifted all of the paperwork to one arm and pulled an index card out of her pocket. "She's the, uh… rather serious, yet slightly crazy with a morbid sense of humor—" she read off the card before being cut off.

"Ah, the course coordinator." he guessed before she even finished.

"Yes. Now, have you seen her around or not?"

"No, I don't think I have. She's probably brooding in her office." he started walking away, then added: "Oh, and I think you forgot to add _practically insane_ to the list."

"Yeah, her office… I should've checked there." then she looked down at the list. "Why _isn't_ insane on here? Or is it the same thing as slightly crazy…? Oh well."

She continued on in a rushed manner until she found the office. Completely ignoring the BROODING—DO NOT DISTURB sign on the door, she barged in. "A.J.? You in here?"

The room was dark, with just a square of light from the hall shining in. "What did I tell you about walking in while I'm brooding?" a voice came from further into the room. A light was flipped on, revealing a high-backed, black leather chair turned around behind a desk, surrounded by mountains and mountains of paperwork and rather eerie decorations, fitting the course coordinator's new taste for the literary classics of Edgar Allen Poe.

"Um, but I have something really important to—"

"Answer my question!" the voice demanded.

"Um, well… you said that when that sign was on the door, I wasn't supposed to, er, disturb you?" Milo stammered.

"Correct. So, why did you disturb me?" it came imposingly.

"Well, I came here to tell you that the students will be here anytime."

"Really?" the voice picked up and the chair whirled around. "Spectacular! How much longer till their arrival?"

This mood swing took Milo aback. She was used to her best friend's strange actions, but this happy attitude towards the terrible fan writers surprised her. "B-but… I thought we needed all the time to prepare that we could get!" To make her point clearer, she dumped the pile of paperwork on the ground.

The course coordinator looked at the pile with distaste, but turned her attention back to Milo. "Yes, but the sooner they get here, the sooner we can get to, ah, _teaching_." A creepy smile twisted her lips.

"But A.J.—"

"Ah, no, what did I tell you about that?" A.J. cut in.

"About what?"

She sighed in exasperation. "The name! I told you, you are not to call me A.J. any longer! I am Ms. Harvest! _Ms. Harvest_. Got it memorized?"

"I'm pretty sure that catchphrase has a copyright on it… But anyways, uh, sure, Ms. Harvest. But why?" Milo asked.

"Well, it sounds more mysterious, of course!" the course coordinator exclaimed.

"Yeah, just about as mysterious as Percy's Achilles' spot." she muttered.

"Hey, don't you 'dis me. I'm the one who hired you as my secretary to rescue you from that branch of the PPC, and I can send you right back." Ms. Harvest threatened.

Milo winced at this. She had bad experiences at the _Percy Jackson and the Olympians_ branch of the PPC, being ridiculed for missing a few mistakes on her first real job. Yes, she was now a _real_ agent and she shouldn't have missed anything, but still, Milo was only a rookie. Her friend had taken the slightest pity on her and brought her to the university as a secretary. Not that that's a better job or anything.

"Okay…" Milo sighed. "Anyway, what reasons do the rest of us have for actually looking forward to the students' arrival?"

"Well… I don't know! But I'm sure Ares is looking forward to beating up some fanbrats—"

"He's actually not enjoying all of this work he has to do in order to prepare." Milo corrected.

"Well then, I'm sure Zeus can't wait for them to arrive so that he can smite them with lightning when they misbehave—"

"No, he's still _very_ upset about having to house the students on his mountain. Not to mention his pride's been hurt since he lost that bet with Hades about who would have to look over the fanbrats."

"Well, we have the Underworld facility for those hopeless ones!" Ms. Harvest said hopefully. "And Aphrodite must be giddy about getting to mess with their emotions!"

"Nope, she doesn't want the students annoying her, and plus, five hours of her beauty sleep is being taken away each day because of the university." Milo countered.

Ms. Harvest now was frantically trying to figure out at least one upside as to why the students' arrival was a good thing. And so she resorted to her last chance. She cleared her throat and said in her most ominous voice: "Puny mortals, mindlessly writing badfic, the rage of the canon, shall be released upon that badfic. They shall torture the writers, merciless and angry, until all that's left is a bloody pulp. And when that time comes, we shall truly, finally be satisfied." Ms. Harvest looked proud of the analogy she had just made up off of the top of her head, but of course, Milo decided to ruin that too.

"Um, that's a good analogy and all, but it's for a _completely_ different series. Don't you think you should get us in the mood for fanbrat bashing with an analogy pertaining to _Percy Jackson_?"

Ms. Harvest looked miffed, but she stayed silent as she tried to come up with something better. "Oh, I've got it! Here goes nothing." she held up a hand dramatically. "I think I feel a haiku coming on."

Milo shook her head at the fact that this was all her friend could think of, but at least it actually pertained to the proper series.

"Oh, stupid writers,  
>Writing terrible writings,<br>We shall teach them with pain."

Milo counted the syllables on her fingers, then shook her head. "Okay, whatever, but just to let you know, you're the only one who can't wait for their arrival."

"You think I don't know that?" Ms. Harvest sighed and sat down at her desk. "All this paperwork, I just want it to end all ready! Maybe once they get here, I can _finally_ have something to do besides filing and correcting enrollments! And you would think that Ms. Huffernheimer would've volunteered to help me, but nooo, she's too busy getting ready to teach grammar—" the course coordinator went on in this fashion for a while, leaving her friend to just stand there awkwardly.

"I got recruited away from the PPC to help with _this_." Milo muttered to herself. "Yippee me."

* * *

><p>In another part of the university, Caleb Lease, the course coordinator's younger brother, wandered about making sure everything was secure. A.J. had given him the job of "alert security," meaning that he wasn't exactly security, but he was head of those who alerted security when something was wrong—kind of like a hall monitor.<p>

He was grumbling about how this was the only job his sister was willing to give him, and all he got as tools were a small knife and a flashlight. This job had been dull since the day he arrived at Olympus. Sure, _he_ _was_ _on_ _Olympus_, and that was amazing and all, but nothing note worthy had been seen for his job to actually make sense to him—though he knew that would all change once the students arrived, of course.

Then something slightly covered by a plant caught his eye. His heartbeat sped up as he tried to figure out what it could be. Finally, something to report! His walkie-talkie was whipped out at once. "Lease to Security, we have a situation."

* * *

><p>Milo felt her eyes start to droop as Ms. Harvest kept going on in a "woe is me" manner. "—and having to juggle between being course coordinator here and working over at the <em>Kingdom Hearts<em> academy branch is _so_ straining. Why did I even take on this achievement?"

Relief finally came when the door burst open, and a very recognizable green-eyed boy stepped into the office.

"Um, sorry about ignoring the sign on the door, but the students are here." he said.

Ms. Harvest perked up, and smiled like a madman—or woman, or teenage girl, or whichever. "Fabulous!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Now for the important note. I need your help as the readers. If you spot any misspelled names of the canon characters in any story that you read, would you please report them to me, as that this is vital to the story. Also, if you read any just plain _horrific_ fics, could you PM me the link to them, because the more experience I have with badfic, the better I can write this story.**

**Also, enrollments are still wide open for anybody who would like to join. There is one note I would like to make on these things, though. _You may fill the forms out however you like. _The more variety of the kinds of people who join, the better. Want to be a satyr? Perfectly fine. And also, you do not have to fill these forms out according to how you look, it could be on how you want your character to look and act. And may I put in, this is not an RP. One more note on the enrollments, I will make you act like an incompetent crazy fanwriter, so you must be fine with that. Nothing personal.**

**I would like to say one more thing that people may discriminate me for. Okay, to that flame, yes, I know that I cannot fix the current state of the PJO archive, but if I can even help just a few people, I will feel that my job has been done. But that is not what I wanted to say, this is the main point: Please, please, _please_ do not use vulgar language when reviewing and what not. Anonymous flamer, calling this writing what you called it was completely unnecessary. And it's not because I can't take a flame, but it's because of the word you used. You could've called it a piece of crap, and I would've been fine. But what you said was not called for. I hope I have made my point clear.**

**Gosh, this author's note is long. Please forgive me, I just needed to get these things out here. Please take this all into mind, and if you are going to enroll, please PM and do not put it in via review. Thanks.**

**~Ms. Harvest**


	3. Chapter 3

****_Disclaimer: I do not own anything relating to the copyrights of Percy Jackson and the Olympians or the Heroes of Olympus. And I most definitely do not own the idea of the OFU, I give complete credit to misscam, who owns all rights to this idea, with her original Official Fanfiction University of Middle-earth. Nor do I own any other series that I may or may not make reference to. _****

**Chapter Three—Of Roommates and Regulations**

Cold. Stiff. Headache. Light. Noise. Pain.

Chloe's eyes cracked open, letting light shine through. She was sore all over, and her head was spinning, like she had been falling, falling, falling…

The girl sat up on the cold marble floor and looked around. There were other people all around her, standing or sitting, with some laying down, looking like they were asleep. Bronze braziers lining the wall had fire burning in them, and a voice calling out names in a steady, monotone voice was in the background.

Basically, this was _not_ home. Chloe took a few shallow breaths and almost screamed, but a hand wrapped around her mouth before she could.

"If you scream, things will be worse for you." a female voice said by her ear.

Chloe calmed down and looked up. A girl that appeared to be about Chloe's age was peering down at her. Her head was still groggy, and it took a minute for her to stand up. "Where am I?"

The other girl pointed at the front of the room. Above a stage a gold banner hung, with bold black letters reading: WELCOME TO THE OFFICIAL FANFICTION UNIVERSITY OF OLYMPUS.

Chloe recalled a place from the _Percy_ _Jackson_ series called Olympus, and she definitely knew what fanfiction was, but she was utterly confused. "What the heck is that supposed to mean?"

The other girl shrugged and Chloe looked at her, really focusing on her face for the first time.

She was a bit startled at first by her appearance: her skin was orange, like she had gotten a really bad spray-on tan, messy black hair, and striking grey eyes.

"You know that your skin looks very, um—" Chloe started, but was cut off.

"Orange? Yeah, I know. So does yours."

Chloe looked down at her hands and almost shrieked. Her skin was a couple shades duller than the orange jumpsuit she was now wearing. "What happened? I'm not this color!"

The girl shrugged again. "I don't know, but I did put 'tan' on that weird survey I filled out last night… maybe that's why."

Chloe then remembered that she put _tan_ on hers also. "Wait! You filled out one of those too? Is that why we're here?"

"Maybe. I mean, I was just on my computer, then this thingy popped up saying that the story I was writing sucks! It does not! And whoever brought me here is going to pay." the girl gritted her teeth.

Chloe nodded her head in agreement.

"And then I got this stupid letter signed by—wait, do you know who this 'Ms. Harvest' is?"

"No," that name sounded vaguely familiar to Chloe.

"Oh. Anyways, then I went to bed and I woke up here." the girl scowled.

"That's almost exactly what happened to me!" Chloe agreed sympathetically. This poor girl must be going through the same thing.

"Whatever. By the way, the name's Raven Yves."

"Chloe O'Brien." she stuck her hand out for a shake, but the other girl just stood there and ignored it. "So… do you know what's going on here?" she waved her hand at the loud speakers.

"Should I care?" Raven said curtly.

"Well, um…"

"I think they're naming off people and sending them to their rooms. You know, kind of like a university." she responded after a little while.

"Oh… wait. A university? Like, where you stay at for school?" Chloe looked around frantically.

"Uh, duh."

"B-but, I'm graduating today! I can't be here and at graduation at the same time! My mom's taking me to go get a manicure, a-and to go shopping, and I'm going into high school and—" Chloe kept naming off things she had to do to get ready for that night, while Raven just stood there.

"Okay, just hold on a second." Raven put in quickly as Chloe took a breath. "Maybe you can get answers from whoever runs this joint. Just go along with what they say, follow the other girls, then demand for answers for the both of us. Easy!"

Chloe wiped her eyes and nodded.

"Wait, O'Brien, you say?"

"That's my last name." Chloe said warily.

"I think they already called your name. You should go over to that door." she pointed over to a doorway where other girls were streaming through.

"Thanks. Uh… nice meeting you, Raven."

"Sure."

Chloe walked over to the door, noticing that there were no boys in the hall, and all the other girls were in orange prison-like jumpsuits like her own.

Next to the door was a very pretty teenage girl holding a clipboard. A shiny name tag pinned onto her shirt read "_Silena B._" in fancy letters.

"Your name?" she smiled sweetly.

"Uh, Chloe… O'Brien."

The teenager's smile withered a little. "Ah, Miss O'Brien. Your room number is 237. Please enjoy your stay."

Before she walked on, Chloe turned back to the girl. "Are there only girls here?"

Silena laughed a little. "Of course not. Not _all_ badfic writers are girls. But the boys have already been called away."

Chloe nodded, and headed down the hall.

The walls, floor, and ceiling were all made of cream colored marble, with white doors parallel on either side. In between each door were either potted plants or busts sitting on white columns. Other adolescents and even younger girls were chitchatting nervously in the halls.

The golden numbers on the doors started at 200, so it was no trouble for her to find the right room. Sort of. After finding that the hallways were rather short and only held five doors on each side, and then climbing up three very steep flights of stairs, Chloe found the right room.

The door opened without the slightest noise, and Chloe walked inside.

The room wasn't very big, and just a little cramped. Two sets of military styled bunk beds lined one wall, with four little wooden crates on each end. A long, wide desk sat cattycorner to the beds, with two chairs on each side. A double book shelf packed with books sat in another corner. The room was in no way homely, and top of that, the marble interior made it quite cold.

Then Chloe noticed three other girls, each one sitting on a bunk. Except for one. She seemed to be in deep sleep, sprawling across a small bed.

"Uh, hi." one of the girls raised her hand in greeting. "You must be Chloe, our last roommate."

"I guess." Chloe looked at her hesitantly. The girl wore a nervous smile, and black hair framed her face, which was also quite orange like many of the other people Chloe had passed.

"Did you put tan on your survey too?"

The girl nodded regrettably and stifled a small giggle. "But you… you look pretty bad."

Chloe looked around for a mirror, but didn't see one.

"There's one in the bathroom." the other conscious girl said quietly, and pointed at a door.

She rushed in and shrieked at her appearance. Not only was her face a terrible shade of orange, but the "pretty makeup" she had filled out on the form clashed terribly with it. And when she filled out "sparkling black eyes," the preteen didn't even imagine that she would wake up with two darkly bruised circles around her eyes, which, of course, sparkled like pixie dust.

"I'm hideous!" Chloe wailed as she exited the bathroom.

"Don't worry, it'll probably wear off eventually. I think." the first girl said.

Chloe sat down dejectedly in one of the desk chairs. "Please tell me that this is just a bad, bad dream…"

The girl stood up awkwardly. "I hope so too, but if this is real, we should be very, very afraid. How did we even get here?"

"Probably kidnapped and we'll never see home ever again." she sighed.

"Well, if we're roommates, we should get to know each other. I'm Joe Artichoke."

Chloe just looked at her with a raised eyebrow and sighed. "I'm Chloe, but I think you already knew that."

Joe laughed a little. "Yeah, it's on your wooden chest over there." she pointed at the crate at the end of a bed. "Oh yeah, and that bed is yours, the one above mine."

Chloe looked up at the top bunk and grimaced. She hated bunk beds.

The other girl looked down from the top of the other bed where she sat. "I'm Lexine, but you can call me Xia if you want."

"Hi."

The girl nodded and sighed. Her tan wasn't nearly as bad as everyone else, but she was still a little on the orange side. Her short brown hair matched her eyes, and she looked to be a little younger than Chloe.

"Who's she?" Chloe pointed at the last bed, where the last girl still snored away.

"Oh, that must be, ah…" Joe looked over at another box. "Max. She was here when I walked in, already asleep."

Chloe was about to comment when a voice came thundering over a loud speaker.

"STUDENTS. GET DRESSED AND COME TO THE AUDITORIUM IN TEN MINUTES. TARDINESS IS NOT ACCEPTED."

The girl called Max stirred at this. "Wha…? No… I do'n wanna ge' up…" she rolled over and fell off the bed. Groaning, she sat up and sleepily looked around. "Oh joy. Roommates."

"Do you know where we are?" Chloe asked the older girl.

"Some kind of school for writing, uh… _Percy_ _Jackson_ fanfic, I think?" she yawned and focused on the other girls, each one in their preteens. "Great, do I have to babysit now?"

Chloe looked miffed. "Hey, I'm going into high school. I'm not a _child_."

"How old are you?"

"Well, twelve."

"And you're going into high school? At _twelve_?" Joe looked at her in shock.

"I started school early, okay? Besides, I'm turning thirteen next month. I'm not _that_ young."

"You kind of are. I'm seventeen, that's a whole four years age difference." Max pointed out. "And how about you two?"

"Twelve." Joe shrugged.

Lexine came down from her bed. "Eleven. I know I'm too young to be on fanfiction and all, but…"

Max rolled her eyes. "Great. I'm the only one in this room that's even old enough to be on the site." She yawned again and stretched. "Well, being the oldest, I guess that I'm in charge. Get ready like the nice people said. Chop-chop."

"And what are you doing?" Chloe asked.

"Well, going back to sleep! I need my sleep or else I can't function."

"But they said students. You're a student too."

"You know what, whatever." Max got up and opened her box.

The other girls did the same, and Chloe didn't even look at the clothes she pulled out before she dashed to the bathroom. She was sick of that itchy jumpsuit.

When she came out, the other girls looked at her clothes and smiled. Chloe grimaced and went back through her clothes chest as the other girls got changed. All she had were orange shirts that said CAMP HALF-BLOOD on them and jeans. She _hated_ the color orange—especially now, more than ever. Ugly white tennis-shoes were all she had to wear on her feet.

Chloe looked jealously at Max as she walked out next. Her outfit wasn't much different, except for the fact that she was wearing a purple shirt. A smug smile was on her face as she looked at Chloe.

"Guess we're on opposing sides."

"What?" Chloe asked.

"Well, looks like you picked to be Greek, right? That's what the orange shirt is for, y'know? And it just so happens that the Romans wear purple."

Chloe pouted at this uniform she had to wear.

Next Joe came out, decked out in a white button down shirt, a gold plaid tie that matched her knee-length pleated skirt, loafers and high socks.

Chloe's mouth dropped open. "Th-that's not fair! Why do you get to wear something so cute?"

Joe looked down. "It's not quite my style."

"What race did you fill out?" Max asked curiously. "I don't recognize what you're supposed to resemble."

"Mortal."

"Wait, you could've filled out demigod, and you picked to be _mortal_?" Chloe asked with disbelief.

Joe nodded.

Lexine looked at her clothes wearily, being completely outfitted in silvery Hunter's garb.

"So, what did you guys fill out?" Max asked after they were all ready. "Roman daughter of Minerva here. Awesome, I know, you don't have to tell me."

Chloe snorted. "Psh, Greeks are better. Your mom is… whoever that is, and my dad is Zeus! I'd say that's a lot better."

"Minerva is the Roman name for Athena." Joe put in. "And you picked to be a child of one of the Big Three? Seriously?"

"Yeah, what's wrong with that?"

The others shook their heads, but didn't answer.

"Hecate." Lexine said quietly. "Greek goddess of magic. Oh, and I'm a hunter too."

"So I'm the oldest by a leap _and_ the only Roman in this room? What's with that?" Max sighed as she opened the door and walked out with Joe behind her.

"How are you going to find your way around?" Chloe asked outside the door.

"We'll manage." Max called over her shoulder, and kept walking.

Lexine walked over to the desk to look for a map. She finally found one, and held it up for Chloe to see, but the other girl had already left.

* * *

><p>Ms. Harvest smirked as the students slowly filed into the auditorium. Behind her, Percy fidgeted nervously, considering that there were no barriers between the fanbrats and the stage.<p>

"Are you sure this is such a good idea?" he whispered.

"Oh, it's fine, don't worry!" Ms. Harvest looked back. "Besides, we have much more powerful forces in here than those sorry excuses for fan writers."

Percy still looked uneasy, but Annabeth nodded reassuringly at her boyfriend.

Ms. Harvest turned her attention back to the mass of floundering students. As she looked down maliciously at them—thinking of the great methods of torture she had thought up of, of course—the course coordinator didn't notice a girl with blonde hair and messy bangs march up to the stage.

"I demand the meaning of this!" the girl reached up and pounded her fist on the stage.

Ms. Harvest looked down with distaste at the pest. "Ah, Miss O'Brien, what is it? I'm busy and have no time for you!"

"Well I'm busy too! I have a graduation to get to today, and I can't do that if I'm stuck here! And who do you think you are to kidnap a bunch of kids? Once we all get home, you should expect a lot of lawsuits!"

She rolled her eyes at the fanbrat. "When you signed the enrollment last night, you waived all of your rights to us. So therefore, you do _not_ have the legal rights to do so in a court of law. Good day."

Chloe ignored this. "I demand to see whoever this 'Ms. Harvest' fool is!"

"You're looking at her."

"Oh, well, um…"

"Not so tough in person, are you?" Ms. Harvest changed her expression. "Now, go back to the crowd, we're about to get started!"

"I'm not going to until I get answers!" Chloe stood firm, just slightly wavering at the course coordinator's cruel sneer.

"We'll see if we can work things out. But later!" Ms. Harvest said impatiently.

Chloe nodded and walked back to the crowd, seemingly content with this promise.

Ms. Harvest shook her head. Fanbrats. _Way_ too easy to fool.

She walked over and tapped on a microphone. "Order! Everyone settle down!"

The students didn't, of course.

"NOW!" she screamed into the amplifier.

This got their attention, and they all looked to the stage. "What's going on? Where am I?" one brave soul called out.

Ms. Harvest smiled cordially. "All your questions will be answered in due time. Now please, let me explain. My name is A.J. Lease, but you all shall call me Ms. Harvest."

The name caused the students to stir, some of them recalling it on their enrollment forms, some murmuring that this "Ms. Harvest" isn't as imposing as they thought she would be, considering she's just a _teenager_.

"Yes, I'm the course coordinator here at the Official Fanfiction University of Olympus, and you all are here to learn how to write decent—even semi-decent, for those of you who just can't learn—_Percy_ _Jackson_ _and_ _the_ _Olympians_ fanfiction."

Someone raised their hand.

"Yes, Miss Yves, what is it?"

"Are you seriously trying to make us believe that we're on _Olympus_? Like, from Greek mythology? Cause you know, it's not, um, _real_?" Raven rolled her eyes.

"No, Olympus and the Olympians alike are not real, but they do, however, live on miserably in your despicable pieces of fanfiction. Now, moving on. You will be taught numerous classes through the four quarters of the year on how to write proper fiction, dealing with the series at hand and fiction all together."

Another hand was raised.

"What is it now?"

Chloe cleared her throat. "But summer is starting! Why aren't we starting at the beginning of the real school year? Because won't that mean we have even longer to be here? Oh yeah, and I'm still waiting for answers about my gradu—"

"Miss O'Brien," Ms. Harvest sighed irritably. "Will you _please_ just shut up already about your stupid graduation? Thank you! And to answer your question, summer is unnecessary, and if you get more schooling, the better! Many of you could use more as it is!"

There were more than a few groans from the crowd.

"And on top of that, if you misbehave to the point of complete expulsion, we will not be sending you home! You shall go down to our Underworld facilities, and trust me—you do _not_ want to go there. But as much as we would all like to see you burn in the fires of the Fields of Punishment, we must get some education into you here first.

"Furthermore, if you do not pass your classes at the end of the year, you shall stay here for another dreadfully painful learning experience here at OFUO and your fanfiction license shall be further provoked. Understand?"

A few people nodded their heads, but most just stood there shell-shocked.

"Now, for your classes. You will be taught by many uncanonicals which I have hired, but many of your classes shall also be taught by the characters from this beloved series which you all have distorted."

A few squeals were sent up, but were quickly cut off by Ms. Harvest's snarl.

"Also, each time one of you _impeccable_ _brats_ misspell a canon member's name, it has been turned into a Mini Fury, who are all here to torture you at will."

With this, there was a fluttering noise, and a few tiny, shriveled hags with bat wings fluttered up to the stage, making Percy wince a little.

"Please meet Zues, AnnBeth, and Pershephone, just three of the many Mini Furies residing here."

The Minis flicked their mini fiery whips toward the crowd, making a few of the students back up.

"They will be here to keep order, and also to guard the staff section. Speaking of the staff section, we come to the university's rules. Milo, please come address the students."

Milo walked up to the microphone. "These rules are to be respected and followed—no exceptions." she eyed a few of the students. "Rule number one: You are to come to class on time, everyday. Your schedule and maps are in the top drawers of the desk in each of your rooms.

"Rule number two: there shall be no, and that means _no_, stampeding, glomping, or even touching the canon. No exceptions. Rule number three: The staff section is off limits to all of you students. The Minis will be guarding it, and no, you may not try to bribe them with bacon, as that this worked to an extant over at the _Lord of the Rings_ university.

"This should cover all the rules, and if you have any questions to whether what you are about to do is against the rules, do _not_ do it. Thank you." Milo stepped away.

"Good. Now, any breakage of these rules shall be met with punishment." Ms. Harvest pulled something out of her belt.

"Wh-what's that?" one of the students asked nervously.

"Oh, this?" the course coordinator patted it affectionately. "This, my students, is what I call a Tazer Blade. A long handle for range, and a high-voltage taser at the end, with four little blades on each corner. So, you know, you don't _only_ get electrocuted, but also stabbed." she smiled sweetly at the students.

They, of course, shuddered at the weapon Ms. Harvest was brandishing.

"And also, I have quite the experience with it, considering I work over at _The Official Kingdom Hearts Academy of Fanfiction_, where of which I go by my real name, Amelia Lease. Also, I was planning on having my dear friend Scarlet Johnson come to work here, but she was sentenced—ah, _enrolled_ over there, and unfortunately can't come at this time. But when she's finished, I'll have her come and tell you all the horror stories she had to endure through over at Miss Omega's lovely institute."

Some of the students paled, figuring that Ms. Harvest was not going to teach them properly, nor treat them humanely in any way at all.

"And do keep in mind that we did do one nice thing for all of you! For those who put tan on your enrollments, we decided to treat you all to free spray-on tans to give you that splendid 'sun-kissed' look!"

The crowd groaned.

"Oh, you don't like it? Well, they'll wear off eventually." Ms. Harvest waved it aside. "Now, to finish up today, I'm going to make one thing clear. You are all here for writing atrocious badfic, and you will not be going _anywhere_ _anytime_ soon. Dismissed."

But one student in particular *cough* Chloe *cough* was not ready to be dismissed. "But what about my graduation!" she yelled as she ran for the stage, but was stopped short. The girl ran face first into an invisible barrier before she even reached the stage. "That… wasn't there before." she said before falling over, knocked out cold.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So, I saw a few repeating questions in the reviews. And to answer them, Ms. Harvest is me. Like, the writer of this story. Just to clear that up with those who didn't figure that out. And yes, the canon is going to appear quite frequently throughout this story, which I think I made it evident in this chapter.**

**And so the story takes off from here! Classes start next chapter, and might I add, make your enrollments as crazy as you want! I read this good point made in another OFU, basically saying that the student submission you send in will not be reflected as you yourself. If you make your character spaztastic or a complete psyco, we won't say "Hey, the author must be one too!" So it's okay, don't worry about what I or the readers will think of you.**

**And with that said, enrollments are still wide open :)**

**~Ms. Harvest.**


	4. Chapter 4

_****Disclaimer: I do not own anything relating to the copyrights of Percy Jackson and the Olympians or the Heroes of Olympus. And I most definately do not own the idea of the OFU, I give complete credit to misscam, who owns all rights to this idea, with her original Official Fanfiction University of Middle-earth. Nor do I own any other series that I may or may not make reference to.****_

**Chapter Four- Of Classes and Badfic**

"Ugh…" Chloe woke up in her new uncomfortable bed. She had a throbbing headache, like someone had smashed her head against a wall—wait, she did.

The girl felt like she was going to cry. She had missed her graduation. Life was pointless now… she may as well go along with this stupid thing, and maybe she would at least get to retake eighth grade after she made it back home—if she even made it that far.

After minutes of struggling to get down the ladder, Chloe saw that Joe and Lexine were already ready and were looking at their schedules. Max, of course, was still sleeping.

"STUDENTS. GET DRESSED AND COME TO ASSIGNED CLASSES IN TEN MINUTES. TARDINESS IS NOT ACCEPTED." The same voice from yesterday drawled over the loudspeakers.

Max just so happened not to stir at the loud voice this time, and a very strange thing happened. From the underside of the top bunk a gallon of water dumped onto the bed then it caught on fire.

Chloe watched in horror as Max stirred, then noticing her dilemma started to flail around the room until the fire was out. "What the heck!" She screamed. "Which one of you idiots caught me on fire!"

"I-it j-just happened on its own!" Chloe stuttered, still wide-eyed in terror. And judging from the wild shrieks from down the hall, other sleeping students suffered the same fate as poor, poor Max. Thankfully, at least to her, only her orange jumpsuit and parts of her dirty blonde hair were singed.

All four girls shuddered as they wondered what other traps this dreaded school held in store.

Chloe decided that perhaps tardiness really _wouldn't_ be permitted, and she rushed to get dressed, Max soon following her lead.

"They better let me sleep in class, or else I'm gonna be seriously annoyed." Max grumbled as she fumbled around with her map and schedule.

"What class do you have first?" Chloe asked the other girls.

"Um…" Joe looked at her paper. "It says 'Western Civ. 101—How to Destroy It.' What the…?"

"Hmm… I have, uh…" Lexine squinted at the paper. "'What's In a Name.' Whatever that means…"

"Psh, you guys get interesting classes—whatever they are—and I get stuck with 'Respecting the English Language 101' with… Ms.—what?"

Joe looked over at her schedule. "Huff-Huffer-Huffernheimer? What kind of name is Ms. Huffernheimer?"

"I don't know…" Chloe shook her head as she looked over her own schedule. "But I have her first class too."

"Well, I'm going to try to find my class." Lexine slipped out of the room without another word.

"Hmm… well, we should probably get going too," Joe agreed and swung open the door.

Max rubbed her eyes. "You heard her. Get going." She pushed Chloe out of the door.

"Where are you going?" Chloe looked back at her roommate, finally figuring out that she loves sleep more than just about anything. Or at least that's what she thought. "Back to sleep?"

"Nah, I'm coming." Max glanced back into the room one more time and sighed longingly at the bed. "I'll be back for you soon, my love!" She blew a kiss at the bed.

Chloe shook that weird image out of her head and started to follow the map down the labyrinth of halls. Naturally, she was holding the map upside down.

Ms. Huffernheimer bounced around the English class happily, straightening books, papers, and all of the tiny trinkets on her desk. How she loved being a grammar teacher! But these "Miserable fanbrats," as Ms. Harvest had called them, were strange to her. What made these children any different than her normal failing students? Boy, was she about to find out.

As students began to trickle slowly into the room, the flamboyantly dressed teacher stood straight and tall in the front of the class.

"Miss Dare, please sit at this desk." She directed one of the students, a girl of about fourteen, who was wearing a dress made out of seaweed and mossy material. "Ah, Miss Adams, your desk is over there." She directed Max to the far side of the room. She kept directing the students in that fashion until everyone was in their very first class of their new stay at the university. All except for one.

Ms. Huffernheimer pressed her lips together as she looked around the room. "I'm afraid everyone is here except for Miss O'Brien. Well, we'll just have to deal with her later." She scribbled this down on a notepad and turned her attention back to the class.

"Hello. Welcome to 'Respecting the English Language 101.' I am Ms. Maurice de Flourian Huffernheimer, but you shall simply call me Ms. Huffernheimer. But if that's too much of a mouthful, then you may just call me Ms. Mauri, but I'm sure that you will not need to call me that because you are all bright young minds ready for some learning!" She clapped her hands together and smiled.

The students just looked at her blankly. Some stared at the giant flamingo pink and electric green hat that sat upon her Irish red hair.

"Ahem. Back onto subject." She began pacing across the room, her heels going _tap tap tap _across the marble floor. "Now, you all are here because you have been accused of writing 'badfic—'"

"But my stories aren't bad!" The girl named Kip Dare stood up. "I've been falsely accused of writing badfic!"

"Miss Dare, _please_ _sit_ _down_." Ms. Huffernheimer said testily, and then regained her bubbly attitude.

"Now, you all are going to learn how to write your stories with excellent grammar, excellent spelling, excellent punctuation, and excellent whatever else entails the term _excellent grammar_. Now, you will be having this course for only one semester this year, for the course coordinator believes that with my curriculum, you will learn _very_ quickly."

One of the students raised her hand. "Yes, Miss McGuire?"

"But… this is a university to learn how to write fanfiction. So why are we being taught basic grammar? Don't we already get all that in normal school?"

The English teacher shook her. "Yes, but my dear student, don't you see?"

"Um, no, I don't."

"Don't you see all of the horrendous grammar on your wonderful little stories? You all are butchering our lovely English language!" She paled and looked as though she was going to faint, be regained her composer. "You all are tearing it up! Ripping it to shreds! Taking a knife and hacking into it, hacking into it… The very spout of the English language is gushing up like a fountain of blood out of your writings! And when something looses blood, it dies… dies, never to come back." Her voice held a heavy dramatic tone and she had a far off look in her eyes.

Macie McGuire wasn't finished though. "But not all fics have bad grammar! So, I think this class is kind of pointless."

This shook Mrs. Huffernheimer back into reality. "Well, of course some have _tolerable_ grammar! But that doesn't mean that your plotline or characterization is any good! But you'll have classes about that later. Now please take your seat as I go over the rules."

Macie sat back down just as the late student burst into the room. All of the students turned around to look at Chloe, who was red faced and out of breath.

"Sorry! Sorry I'm late!" She said in between gasps. "You see I had my map upside down and Max didn't even bother to help me when I walked in the wrong direction and I wandered all over the place and then I got caught by those freakish little things with the whips—their whips of fire that hurt really bad!—and then they brought me here and that's why—"

Maurice had a plain look of dismay on her face. "Miss O'Brien, I will let you off the hook this one time, but please do keep in mind that we do not accept tardiness, nor do we teachers and respecters of the English language enjoy run-on sentences—which we'll discuss later, of course—but please, go take your seat, and for the love of Zeus, do hold your tongue!"

Chloe obeyed without another word.

"Now, where was I…? Oh yes, the rules." She eyed the latecomer.

"Rule one: You may not come in late. Punishment will be one ruler-rap on your knuckles."

Another person raised their hand and the teacher sighed. "What is it, Mister Holmsal?"

"Isn't that illegal, though? Like, child abuse in school? I'm pretty sure that that was outlawed way back when." The boy replied in a squeaky adolescent voice.

"Well, I think it's perfectly fine. This is a very humane sort of punishment compared with some of the other teacher's ideas on the proper way to deal with the offender. And besides, you will find many, many other things going on here that are technically not 'legal.'"

"Like weed?"

"I should hope not! Now no more questions until I'm done!" Mrs. Huffernheimer said is exasperation. "Rule two: there will be _no_ back talk. You _may_ _not_ get smart with me, and I do not want any of your preppy sass." She sneered at a few of the students. "Punishment: two ruler stripes across the face."

A few of the students inhaled sharply at this cruel and unusual punishment for a mere action that is quietly and inappropriately dismissed in this world's current society.

"Rule three: you will not speak unless spoken to. You may raise your hand if you would like to ask a question or answer a question."

Half of the hands were raised.

"Not right now!" She snapped and the hands went down. "This rule also means no whispering to your fellow schoolmates while class is in session. Passing notes is not acceptable. If I catch you passing one, I _will_ read it in front of the class with no remorse." She smiled pleasantly. "And rule four: there will be no sleeping in class."

She disappeared and immediately popped up in front of Max, who had been sleeping peacefully at her desk, completely oblivious to the rules being spoken.

"Miss Adams, do wake up now." Mrs. Huffernheimer asked nicely. When the insomniac didn't budge, the teacher pulled a large wooden ruler out from behind her back, which awed the students a little. They hadn't _seen_ the ruler when she turned her back to them.

The teacher shoved the ruler under Max's chin and forced her head to lift up. She quickly took the ruler out, and as quick as lightning, smacked the girl's face before her head could fall back onto the desk.

"Ow!" Max quickly lifted her head after it smacked down on the marble desktop. She rubbed her face and shouted something in a foreign language at the teacher.

A lot of the students didn't understand, a few looked quite amused, and a couple others were shocked.

The young teacher only raised an eyebrow. "Miss Adams, calling me a female dog and many other things in Latin is not acceptable. Now please, sit up and pay attention."

"I'm tired!"

"Hmm… that's quite a predicament, now isn't it? Oh well, you'll just have to suffer." She brought the ruler across her face two more times with a very skilled hand.

"Ah!" The girl screamed and held her face. "What was that for?"

"Well, for talking back to me of course! You should've been listening to the rules instead of sleeping." The teacher appeared back in the middle of the room.

All of the students by now had deemed the teleporting teacher either insane, sadistic, evil, awesome, or a warped mix of all three.

"Now, because we figured that none of you would be smart enough to bring your books this first day, we have put them under your desks. Be sure to bring them back to your rooms for study, and bring them back each class."

The students reached under their desks and pulled out a thick grammar book, most of them groaning at its size.

The teacher smiled nicely, and with eyes twinkling, she began to lecture the class. "Lesson one: Capitalization…"

On the entire opposite side of where the English class was situated was the staff section. In the teacher's lounge—the staff-only library, mainly filled with fanfiction—sat some of the, well, staff, as they read away.

Ms. Harvest and Milo were reading through badfic to file, and the course coordinator had asked a few of the canon to come in and help, mainly so that she could see their extravagant reactions to the warped canon, bad!romances between them and numerous OC's, and just at the horrendous grammar all together. Oh, and so that the job would be quicker too, of course.

And out of all of the canon she could've asked, she just so happened to pick two dyslexic, ADHD demigods who really couldn't even stand sitting down in one spot for long periods of time or reading, much less at the same time.

And by _complete_ _chance_, it happened that those two demigods were Percy Jackson and none other than Luke Castellan. Yep, Luke, the one who had the restraining order on Percy, Annabeth, Grover, Thalia, and about half of the other cast members. If he got within five feet of them, a squadron of Mini Furies would be after him. And no, Ms. Harvest did not force, er, _invite_ him here so that she could possibly watch him get taken down. She would _never_ do something like that to one of her least-favorite characters, which I'm _sure_ you all believe ever so sincerely.

So getting back onto topic… besides the other staff milling about the library, which included Chiron, Nico, Athena, and some other uncanonicals, the four were each situated at different large tables, each strewn about with badfic.

And now our lovely course coordinator happened to stumble upon one of the greatest blasphemes of the English language that she had ever seen. "Sweet mother of Gandalf! Milo, come look at this!"

Everyone stopped what they were doing to stare at the girl. Milo coughed out "Wrong series,"

"Hmm… oh, I've got it! Sweet mother of, ah… Zeus!"

Everyone went back to their business when she corrected her series reference, which should clearly relate to the university's theme.

"What is it?" Milo walked over to her friend.

"Here, read this. It's like, a million times worse than _My_ _Immortal_, that infamous Harry Potter fic."

"I thought you hated Harry Potter."

"I do! But I had to read it since everyone was all like 'It's the _worst_ fanfiction in the world!' Psh, this one is way worse. Now just read it!"

"_'AR U CRASY?/ WHY DID U DO DAT?' i suicidally yelledat hr. Max yeled, "kp fokuzed on the misiosn misyt!"  
>'Okey' angelsayd'so ew need 2 deestry up dat prep hansther gunten's faec. R u wit me?"<br>"Yesh" I aisd kawaiily But den Fnmag puled me asidde and wishperd 2 me "Met me by teh hawks cleff 2nite 6"  
>"Okay" i agreed nervosuty. Den I flwe home atfer eetin a Prep named Biberfevar on the streat. Her budl wuz al gros tho. I fnallie avried at mi cave hom.<br>So iputted on a long blodred sress and put in mai noes persingz and a cahin neklase and goff ik converse dat ahd a blodt roes n dem and dyed mi red streekz in mai fethers prrple and grey and i flw of to met Fang my teh cledf.  
>But om mu way der i wuz attacked by...<em>"

Milo squinted to read the paper. "Wait a second… you showed me this fic before you even started the university! And this is for _Maximum_ _Ride_, not _Percy Jackson and the Olympians_!"

Ms. Harvest looked down and took another few minutes to decipher the page again. "Hmm, I guess you're right. Oh well!"

This now caught Luke's attention, and he strode to where the girls were squabbling. "Wait, you haven't been reading any of the stories you were supposed to? Isn't that just putting more work on everyone else?"

"I don't know!"

"And then again it was kind of pointless for you to even come here. Perhaps you should go do something that actually suites you, like… coordinating courses?"

Ms. Harvest wasn't a big fan of Luke, so his discrimination of her job ticked her off a little. The best idea she had was to stand up and point at Luke. "Silence, traitor."

Milo gave her a wary look. "Again with the wrong series!"

She sighed in exasperation. "How am I supposed to even change that to PJO?"

Luke just waved it off. "I don't care. If you don't like me, why did you even bring me back?"

"Well, I… hmm… well, probably because I brought back all of the dead canon?" Ms. Harvest suggested.

Luke just shook his head. "Anyhow, you're not shaping up to be a fine leader to be doing the wrong job." He picked up the papers she had been reading and glanced through them. "Oh dear gods, that _is_ bad."

"Isn't it though?" The course coordinator took the papers out of Luke's hand and threw them. Before they hit the ground, the stack disappeared. Ms. Harvest looked satisfied. "Plotholes, so useful!"

Milo ignored that. "But honestly, A.J.—"

"No, it's Ms. Harvest."

She sighed. "_Ms_. _Harvest_, you should really be reading _Percy_ _Jackson_ fanfiction, instead of… whatever it is that you're reading."

"But I did find this really bad _Kingdom_ _Hearts_ one called 'Sora's Journey to Slay the Evil one.' It's quite nauseating."

"No. Just, here," She swiped her arm across the table, dumping everything onto the ground. Then the secretary walked to her table, picked a bunch of papers, a dumped them onto the newly cleaned desk. "There. Now get to work."

Ms. Harvest groaned. Bad _Percy_ _Jackson_ fics were _never_ entertaining.

By this time, Percy had decided to join in the conversation. He brought some of his papers to donate along with him. "Yeah, so I'm having a hard time reading, so I'm just going to go prepare my lessons—" The hero tried to walk away.

"No, wait just a second there, Percy." Ms. Harvest held up her hand. "Don't take another step." The course coordinator quickly took out a measuring tape and unfurled it from the length between Percy and Luke. "Uh oh, Luke, it appears that you're about four feet away from Percy. And to think that I truly believed that you had changed your _despicable_ ways and would _never_ go against your restraining order." She sighed and shook her head.

Before Luke could protest that it was Percy's fault that they were close, Artmis, Hefestis, Athna, and Affrodity dive-bombed Luke, pinning him to the ground.

"C'mon, I don't think that's exactly fair," Milo tried to defend the newly resurrected canon.

Ms. Harvest pondered this for a few moments. "I guess you're right. I'll let you off the hook this one time, Luke, but remember, _five_ _feet_." The course coordinator dismissed the Minis and started to leave the room.

"Hold up," Milo called. "Where are you going?"

"Well, I have to get ready for teaching weapons class over at OKHAF, remember? These double duties are quite a strain."

"Then why don't you just quit?"

The course coordinator laughed. "Gosh, Milo, I run this place! Why in Hades name should I _quit_?"

The other girl rolled her eyes. "I meant quitting your job over at the Kingdom Hearts Academy."

Ms. Harvest gasped. "Well, I would never let down Omega! She was so generous to give me that job, and I wouldn't want to disappoint her! Now, hold down the fort for me, will you?"

Milo sighed. "Fine…"

The course coordinator smiled and headed off to the university's transporting system, sending herself into an entirely different canonverse.

Chloe walked down the halls of the university warily. First, she had a strenuous two hour English class, and then got lost again on her way to breakfast. _Why on earth would they have a class before breakfast_, she thought fiercely.

Then, after having to stuff a meal of soggy cornflakes down her throat—the stuffing due to her being late to the dining hall—she got held up by the schools "official" rebels, who were blocking the halls so that nobody could get through. Eventually the Minis came and cleared things up, but that didn't mean the girl wasn't going to be tardy.

And now a new obstacle was in her way. Grant it, Chloe's desires were far from going to class, but she feared all of the teachers' wrath above what she wanted and what she didn't. She rubbed her face and knuckles which were still red and puffy. She didn't mean to talk back to Mrs. Huffernheimer! Her argumentative attitude towards authority just slipped out! Like, five times!

Now a new group of kids were in here way. She sighed and managed to squeeze her way to the front of the room, and what she saw surprised her a little.

Wrestling on the ground was Raven Yves, the first girl she had met, and another girl with dark brown hair that Chloe hadn't seen before.

The two were shouting things like "He's mine!" or "He would never fall for an idiot like you!"

The girls were pulling each other's hair, scratching their faces, and trying to land punches, most of which missed.

"What's going on?" Chloe asked the girl who was standing next to her. She remembered her vaguely from English class. McGuire... Macie McGuire. Rather short, yet athletic, with a spray of freckles across her pale face.

Macie shrugged. "I think they're fighting over Nico."

"Who?"

She stared at Chloe blankly. "You don't know who Nico is?"

"Well, he's that annoying little kid from the, uh… third book? Yeah, the third book. But why would they fight over _him_?"

"You know, he did change a lot, and now he's quite popular with the ladies. Anyway, I don't know why this Raven girl is fighting over him, since she's clearly dressed like a Hunter of Artemis."

"Why should that matter?" Chloe asked, completely unknowledgeable on the Hunter's oath.

Macie rolled her eyes. "You're joking, right?" When Chloe didn't respond, the girl just shook her head. "Whatever."

"So… Nico's from the books. Does that mean Luke is here too?" She let out a little squeal.

She shrugged. "I'm not sure. I did here a rumor going around that they resurrected a bunch of the characters, though."

_Resurecte_d? Chloe thought, _Doesn't that mean they were… dead?_ _Luke didn't die…_ She put that terrible thought aside and figured that Macie must be mistaken. Suddenly a new thought dawned on her. "Wait!"

"What?"

"If some of the people from the books are teaching here…" She started putting things together. "Then my Lukey-Pie could be here too!"

Macie stared at her with wide eyes. What kind of freakish nickname was "_Lukey_-_Pie_?"

And without another word, Chloe surged forward out of the crowd. Well, first she tripped over Raven and the other girl, then fell on her face after she squeezed out of the ring of kids who were all shouting "Fight! Fight! Fight!"

And making her way down the halls, this time in the _correct_ direction, with determination, and naively believing that her lust object would be teaching her next class, the fangirl had a new hope. And no, the author did not intend for that to be a _Star_ _Wars_ reference.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Enrollments are still open. And I know that their are guys out there reading this story, and I need you to enroll! So far I've only gotten girls enrolling! If I can't add any guys in, then it'll make this place look like a finishing school... well, a finishing school for fanfiction, that is.**

**Thanks for reading.**

**~Ms. Harvest**


	5. Chapter 5

**_Disclaimer: I do not own anything relating to the copyrights of Percy Jackson and the Olympians or the Heroes of Olympus. And I most definitely do not own the idea of the OFU, I give complete credit to misscam, who owns all rights to this idea, with her original Official Fanfiction University of Middle-earth. Nor do I own any other series that I may or may not make reference to. _**

**Chapter Five- Glomping and Canon and Singing, Oh My!**

"Hello, and welcome to 'Basic Canon.'" Milo Flint said as all of the students were settling into their chairs.

Over half of the students were missing, whether due to getting lost or just not wanting to come to class. Some of the students that _did_ make it included Chloe, who actually managed to get there five minutes early; Cole Striker, who was babbling to his neighbor—who just so happened to be Chloe—about how hot Annabeth is and how much he loves her; Alexandria Nightingale, who insisted on being called Alexis by everyone she met; Hayley Kinnon, a tall mortal girl; and Hartanna Firemist, who no one could really tell his or her gender just by his or her looks, and he or she wasn't giving out the information either. And that was just a few. All over the room were fanbrats of different species, colors, and heights who weren't ready to settle down and listen to Milo.

"—and she's just so hot! You know?" Cole went on.

Chloe had stopped paying attention and was craning her neck to look at the stage, but her Lukey-Pie hadn't come on yet. She sighed in frustration. "Why isn't he up there yet? He should be teaching this class!"

"Who?"

"Luke!"

"Oh," He shook his head. "How do you know that?"

"W-well, I, uh… I just assumed that he would! That weird course whatever she does lady said that the book people teach the classes!" She spluttered.

"Yeah, but it says here—" Cole pulled out his planner. "Um… oh, it says that Percy and Annabeth teach this class."

Chloe hung her head sadly.

"So, you're a Luke fangirl, eh?" He continued, pushing shaggy hair out of his eyes.

"Yeah," She sighed dreamily.

"Why?"

"Excuse me?"

"I asked why. Why are you a Luke fangirl?"

"Well, he's hot!" Was the best answer she could give.

"Anything else?"

"Um, well… I'm not sure."

Cole laughed. "Why?"

"Because I don't know!"

"Why don't you know?"

Chloe huffed irritably. "Are you trying to annoy me?"

He smiled mockingly. "I think that the general idea."

Chloe rolled her eyes at the purple clad boy and looked up at the stage where the course coordinator's assistant was trying to get order in the noisy room.

Milo finally got a hold of a loudspeaker. "Everyone just _shut up _or I _will_ release the Mini Furies on you!"

All the students stopped at this threat.

Milo smiled and tapped her double sided spear, giving emphasis that yes, she was armed, as yes, she was dangerous. "Welcome to 'Basic Canon,' where you all will be learning how to characterize the characters from the books."

Chloe heard Cole mutter beside her, "I hope we don't have to take notes."

And, just on cue, Milo continued with, "We are expecting you to take notes. Now, this quarter in basic canon you will only be learning about the characters of both the new series and the original series. This course corresponds with 'What's in a Name.'

"You all will be going into an in-depth study on the series at the start of the second semester, which is 'Advanced Canon.' Today we will be introducing you to the main characters of the original series. Minor characters and the new heroes will be introduced later down the road. Villains, monsters, and the Olympians will be introduced in separate classes.

"And since the characters will be filing out here on stage, there will be _absolutely_ no glomping or stampeding, or, well," She held up her weapon for more emphasis. "I think you get the point."

Chloe gulped down hard. This mean lady was going to separate her from the love of her life who is _obviously_ meant for her? Unfair!

"Now, introducing the main protagonist, the only guy in the series that you get to hear his thoughts personally, our favorite son of the sea god—Perseus Jackson!"

No one came out. Chloe wondered if this "Perseus" was invisible. She knew that Percy's last name was Jackson, but what kind of name was Perseus? Maybe he was Percy's brother?

After a few more cricket chirps, a hand from offstage was seen pushing our favorite green-eyed hero out in front of the students. Instantly at least thirty screams were sent into the air and the fangirls rushed to the stage, despite Milo's warning.

Percy cringed at the fangirls' jubilant shrieking over their lust object, then took out Riptide in a flash, preparing for battle. He didn't get the chance to skewer any students though, to Milo's disappointment. Instantly a large squadron of Mini's appeared and flew off with the fangirls, hanging them from their perches on the vaulted ceiling.

Milo waited till they stopped screaming over the fact that they were hanging in the air by their shirts, and then continued on. "Next is the famous daughter of Athena, the architect of Olympus who designed the very room you are sitting in—Annabeth Chase!" There was obvious distaste in her voice when she spoke the name.

Annabeth walked out onto the stage proudly, eyeing each of the students carefully. Chloe gasped—she looked nothing like the actress from the _Lightning Thief_ movie! This girl was tan and had curly blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail.

She was just deciding that they must have confused Annabeth with someone else when Cole stood on his chair and yelled "I love you, Annabeth!"

He ducked quickly as the Mini Furies dive-bombed for him, and he sat down in his chair. They fluttered off grumbling. Annabeth immediately locked onto Cole and glared at him for all she was worth with those intense eyes, but the fanboy looked like he was about to die… of happiness.

"She noticed me!" He was saying stupidly, and Chloe just shook her head, impatiently waiting for them to introduce Luke.

"Former protector and searcher, the new lord of the wild places—Grover Underwood!" Milo announced.

A skittish looking satyr clopped onto stage, only wearing a gold shirt that read in black letters "OFUO STAFF" across the front. He trotted to Percy and whispered something like, "Are you sure it's safe to be around these… these rabid students?"

Percy nodded uneasily, sword still drawn, but he didn't look too happy himself.

"The traitor, the pawn of Kronos," When Milo said the titan lord's name, a wave of cold air flushed through the room, causing the fanbrats to shiver. "Back from the Underworld, Luke Castellan!"

Chloe watched in sheer joy as Luke strided onto the stage. It took her a second to get over her shock—he looked almost _nothing_ Jake Abel. But to Chloe, he was even better.

Forgetting what happened to the last fanbrats who stampeded the stage, she and a few other girls did just that. Luke didn't look on with any fear of the unruly badfic writers. He looked _angry_.

Of course, Chloe didn't even realize that, and she could already picture her future, ahem, _their_ future—a beautiful wedding, a honeymoon to the Bahamas, and they would have a bunch of adorable children and she would name all of them after Luke!

As she was in her fangirlish daydreaming/running for her "future husband," she didn't notice the cast iron skillet soaring right for her head.

Milo looked satisfied with her aiming skills. True, she was aiming for a fangirl across the room, but Chloe happened to get in the way. Oh well, one fangirl down, a million more to go.

Percy looked in horror at the Luke fangirl crumpled on the ground, whose head was bashed open with a frying pan sticking out, then at Milo.

She shrugged. "Flying, er, frying pans, right?"

* * *

><p>Ms. Harvest flopped down into the leather chair in her office, rubbing her temples. Ah, a full day of reading through badfic, teaching fanbrats that didn't even belong to your university how to fight with wooden weapons, and a staff meeting can really take it out of ya.<p>

Then the door to the messy room flung open and Milo walked in triumphantly.

"How did things without me?" The course coordinator asked.

"Pretty good. We made them sit in the mess hall and watch the staff eat lunch—it was a bit of a pain to make all of the student's favorite meals to serve it to the canon, but it got done. Oh, and we didn't serve them lunch, like you requested."

Ms. Harvest smiled thoughtfully. "Hmm… I wonder who got the human intestinal track."

Milo shuddered. "I don't know; probably one of the monsters. I don't think the canon would be happy if they were given such a, ah, grotesque thing to eat for lunch."

"True… go on."

"We've already gotten a count of thirteen dead, due to attempted glomping. Canon class went well, none of the members got touched, and I made sure that they knew who was in charge."

Ms. Harvest raised an eyebrow. "And you said that there were _thirteen_ dead? I don't think they understand who's 'in charge.'"

The secretary sighed. "Well, they will soon enough. I made sure they know that I'm very capable with a spear. And a frying pan."

"Good, good," Then Ms. Harvest sat up quickly. "Wait, you _threatened_ them?"

"I nailed one in the head."

"No, no, no, no, no!" She got up and started pacing around the room.

"B-but… I thought that's what you wanted me to do!"

"No, I wanted you to act like a friend to them, so that you could gain their trust. Then, at the least expected moment, BAM! You stab 'em in the back!" She grinned crazily.

Milo pondered this. "You never told me that."

"I didn't? Hmm… well, from now on, just don't scare them, kay?"

"But it's fun…" She pouted.

"Milo, you need to make them think you don't hate them with all of your life. Your bad reputation is ruining my plans!" And the second she said it, the course coordinator regretted it.

You see, Milo has a weird habit of screaming random songs, even when it doesn't make sense. And then she has an even greater chance of doing so when you give her a keyword. So as you can imagine, Milo decided to use that opportunity that her friend so clumsily gave her. "I DON'T GIVE A DRACHMA 'BOUT MY BAD REPUTATION! YOU'RE LIVING IN THE PAST, IT'S A NEW GENERA—"

"Gosh, Milo, this is neither the time nor pla—"

"GOSH IT DISTURBS ME TO SEE YOU, GASTON, LOOKING SO DOWN IN THE DUMPS!"

"If you don't stop, I'm not afraid to stick my taser blade—"

"I'M STUCK ON YOU, WOAH WOAH, STUCK LIKE GLUE! YOU AND ME—"

"Milo, I swear on the River—okay, maybe not that extreme,"

"You were going to say "on the River Styx," weren't you?" Milo stopped her singing to put that note in.

"Well, yeah, but I think that's too irreversible."

"The gods broke their pact."

"Good point," She agreed, then shook her head. "I mean, Milo! I swear on my entire Percy Jackson collection that—"

"You don't even have a Percy Jackson collection. You use the library!"

Ms. Harvest sighed. "Don't remind me! Anyway, I'm just saying, if you don't stop, I'm not afraid to kill you." Mistake number four.

Milo, being a new teenager, was still young in her life, and her friend had ever so gratefully sparked another fuse. "IF I DIE YOUNG, BURRY ME IN SATIN! LAY ME DOWN ON A BED OF ROSES!"

In a huff, the course coordinator headed for the door. "You know what, Milo? I'm just gonna pretend this conversation never happened."

"I SAW YOU DRIVIN' 'ROUND TOWN WITH THE GUY I LOVE, AND I WAS LIKE 'FORGET YOU!'"

"Gah!"

"LUMP SAT ALONE ON A BOGGY MARSH! COMPLETELY MOTIONLESS EXCEPT FOR HER HEART! MUD FLOWED—"

Ms. Harvest ran down the hall after that, and echoes of songs about fireflies and maple trees oppressing oaks or some such thing chased her.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Sorry for that two week update, people. I really didn't mean it to take that long, and this chapter isn't even all that great *sigh***

**Anywho, if you sent in an enrollment and haven't seen your character yet, don't worry, I'm working on it. Enrollments for girls with be over soon, but I need more guys! I only have two guys in so far! So if your a girl, enroll your brother or something! Also, make your character as crazy as you want. Rainbow colored hair? No problem. Anthropomorphic? Easy. Elf? Well, I'm pretty sure that elves belong to Norse mythology, but hey, whatever.**

**And I just finished reading the Son of Neptune! Eep! The significance of me telling you that is that when I made up the enrollment sheet, it hadn't come out yet. So ladies, if you would like to be an Amazon, just let me know :)**

**And if your'e wondering about the whole thing with Milo singing, trust me, I did _not_ make that up.**

**Have a great day!**

**~A.J.**


	6. Chapter 6

**_Disclaimer: I do not own anything relating to the copyrights of Percy Jackson and the Olympians or the Heroes of Olympus. And I most definitely do not own the idea of the OFU, I give complete credit to misscam, who owns all rights to this idea, with her original Official Fanfiction University of Middle-earth. Nor do I own any other series that I may or may not make reference to. _**

**Chapter Six- Infirmaries and "Study" Groups**

Chloe's eyes cracked open slowly. She had splitting headache, like, like… she had gotten a frying pan embedded into her head. _What the heck?_ She thought. _That's ridiculous. How does someone get a frying pan stuck in their head?_

"Probably by getting on the wrong side of certain people—or when fangirls like you attempt glomping. Either or." A male voice answered from one side.

Chloe turned her head and almost screamed for joy at what she saw. Luke was standing over her! He really _did_ love her…

"Sorry girl, I'm no lust object of yours."

She blinked a few times, then looked back at the guy. He was right—he looked to be in his late teens, with sandy hair like Luke's, but he was wearing sunglasses and no scar marred his looks. _And he was about a gazillion times hotter than Luke_, Chloe drooled.

"Hah, thanks, but no thanks," His smiled disappeared. "I hate doting fangirls."

Chloe realized that she wasn't saying anything out loud. "H-hey! Stop that!"

"Stop what?" He asked innocently.

"Reading my mind! Who are you?" Chloe demanded, but not _too_ harshly, she liked this guy.

"Who am _I_? _Who_—_am_—_I_?" He asked in disbelief. "Well, I should expect that even fanbrats would know that! I'm Apollo—god of light, truth, prophecy, music, and among many other things, the god of medicine and healing!"

It took a second for Chloe to take that in. A real Olympian? No way…

"Oh, you better believe it," He smiled.

Trying to ignore the embarrassing fact that he was listening to her thoughts, she sat up painfully and looked around. A few other students were laying on stretchers, with people wearing staff shirts working on their numerous injuries.

"W-wait, this is the hospital?"

"We prefer to call it an infirmary, but yes." Apollo cleared that up.

"So… _you_ healed me? That's so sweet!" She squealed.

His smile melted again. "Ah, no. I'm having my children do that; this place will get them a lot of practice with their powers. I'm just here checking up on things."

"Oh…" She sighed.

"Well, I suggest that you be getting to class. Your head injury should be, ah, _stable_—at least enough for you to get to class. Now go on."

Chloe slid off her bed and conveniently found her map and schedule in her pocket where she had left them. Of course, she had Mrs. Huffernheimer's class first, and Chloe groaned over-dramatically. She tried her best to find the right path on the map, and as she got to the infirmary's door, Apollo called after her.

"Ah, I would hold the map the _other_ way. Yeah, that's better,"

And so she tromped off to the English class, for yet another lecture.

* * *

><p>"Today, we will be working on your paragraphing," Mrs. Huffernheimer wrote on the chalkboard as another student walked into the marble classroom. "Ah, Miss O'Brien, didn't we talk about tardiness before?"<p>

Chloe embraced herself. _Slap_! The fanbrat cradled her already raw knuckles as she took her seat.

"Now, what was I talking about… hmm…" The students just stared at the teacher as she tapped her chin, thinking. "Oh yes! About writing your paragraphs. Now, how many times have I read a huge mass of words, with numerous characters' dialogues mashed into it? Too many, that's how! It is _infuriating_! Perfectly good moments, ruined by your incompetence! So, before we get on how to fix these problems, you will be reading pieces from _The Last Olympian_ written in this style." Papers fluttered onto the desk out of midair.

Chloe picked up the first one and started reading:

"'_You were the spy.' Silena tried to nod. 'Before… before I like Charlie, Luke was nice to me. He was so… charming. Handsome. Later, I wanted to stop helping him, but he threatened to tell. He promised… he promised I was saving lives. Fewer people would get hurt. He told me how he wouldn't hurt… Charlie. He lied to me.' I met Annabeth's eyes. Her face was chalky. She looked like somebody had just yanked the world out from under her feet. Behind us, the battle raged. Clarisse scowled at her cabinmates. 'Go, help the centaurs. Protect the doors. GO!' They scrambled off to join the fight. Silena took a heavy, painful breath. 'Forgive me.' 'You're not dying,' Clarisse insisted. 'Charlie…' Silena's eyes were a million miles away. 'See Charlie…' She didn't speak again."_

Chloe wasn't sure if she had read that before, but decided that she didn't really see anything wrong with the paragraph, though she was sure that she would've changed some things. But the part about Luke… she was confused. Deciding that it wasn't worth dwelling on, she moved onto the next paper.

"_She nodded, though she still seemed uneasy. I didn't blame her, but it was hard to feel too upset on a nice day, with her next to me, knowing that I wasn't really saying good-bye. We had lots of time. 'Race you to the road?' I said. 'You are so going to lose.' She took off down Half-Blood Hill and I sprinted after her. And for once, I didn't look back."_

After a few more paragraphs, Chloe got bored. After what seemed like hours (actually it was only five minutes, but it appeared that choosing to be a demigod added on ADHD), Ms. Huffernheimer walked back to the middle of the class.

"Now," She started, after setting papers onto her oaken desk. "As you can see, some of these moments were tense, and some weren't. But the one thing they all had in common was that they were all just a wall of words! It is _incredibly_ displeasing to the eye to read something such as that, especially when an _entire_ chapter is written in this manner! And not only is it ugly, but it is difficult to read! The reader has a hard time depicting which character is saying what, or even what is being described.

"Another note I would like to make is," She cleared her throat after her angry words, and tried to calm herself a bit. "We as the readers do not get the full emotion that it is put into a piece that is written in text-wall formation. You could have written an amazing piece, but then it gets ruined because of this! For instance, the piece on Silena's death: now, did you get the full amount of emotion in this? I'm sure that it did not wrench your heart out as much as it did when you read it in the book. That would be because the book has proper paragraphing."

A lot of students, including Chloe, just stared blankly at her. It wasn't _that_ common to see this done, and besides, it wasn't that much of an offense!

"And I'm sure you all are thinking, 'It's not _that_ common to see this done,'" Some of the students backed away in their chairs at this statement. "Well, believe you me, _fanbrats_," The word came out in a loathing hiss. "It—is—very, _very_—common. Now, to fix this problem—" Ms. Huffernheimer straightened and regained her happy smile.

"You start a new paragraph every time a different person speaks. Also, try your best not to make a descriptive paragraph too long, because that's just as bad. If it's a long paragraph, split it into two or three smaller ones." The teacher finished and rearranged the giant hat that was daring to tip over.

Chloe, and most of the other students, sighed in relief that the lecture was over, and would hopefully never have to hear about it again. _Morons_.

Mrs. Huffernheimer glanced at the paper in her hands. "Homework for today: correct all the papers on your desk. Copy each paragraph onto a page of college-ruled paper with the correct paragraph formatting that you have learned. If you need reminders, all these rules are conveniently placed on page fifty-five of you grammar books. There will be a collection bin outside of this classroom, and your papers are due tomorrow morning before class. Class dismissed."

Chloe wasn't sure if those two last words had ever sounded sweeter. But before she could head out the door, the flamboyant teacher stopped them from leaving.

"Ah, and one more thing," She smiled slyly. "You may not copy it from the book. Since all of the paragraphs are taken from _The Last Olympian_—and here at OFUO, we have a huge surplus of all the books—you may be tempted to cheat. Don't, because you all will sense such a greater sense of accomplishment and feel much better about yourselves." She smiled and nodded for them to go.

Chloe rolled her eyes once she was out of class. Like _she_ cared about self-accomplishment and stupid stuff like that.

* * *

><p>A small "study" group had gathered at the students' library hall, though there wasn't much studying going on. Chloe sat around shuffling through her homework papers from numerous classes, not doing much of anything. Next to her sat Kip Dare, who was banging her head on the table. Every time her head smacked the darkly stained wood, the naiad would mutter something like: "Never gonna get done…" or "Never gonna pass this stupid school…" Her aura of depression leaked onto Chloe, making the fanbrat feel even more miserable.<p>

On Chloe's other side sat Eponine Stone, who, after five minutes of working on her huge stack of papers, promptly slammed her writing utensils down on the table. "I'm not going to do this anymore!" Her voice held a British accent. "It's only our second day here and we've already gotten a week's worth of stuff to do! I'm done with this bloody homework!"

Across from the three girls sat Hayley Kinnon and Cole Striker, who were both scribbling words down on their papers. Chloe didn't know how they could actually do their homework without a word of complaint. Having nothing more interesting to do, she watched them work. With closer observation, it appeared Hayley would take a break every few minutes and would look down in her lap.

"What are you doing?" Chloe asked.

She looked up quickly. "N-nothing. I just… ah man," She pulled a hidden book up, and smiled sheepishly. "I just want my grades to be good, and I figured that just a few glances wouldn't kill."

Chloe looked at the greenish cover. A boy on a Pegasus was dimly pictured, above it, words reading "_The Last Olympian_" were written in gold. Ah, so that was the book! She vaguely remembered flipping through it. "Hey, do you mind if I use it after you?"

Hayley looked around nervously. "Sure, I don't think we'll get in trouble…?"

"Ah, who would know? I don't really see any of the teachers in here." Chloe shrugged.

That seemed to reassure the mortal student, and she got back to work. After a few more minutes, Cole lifted up his head and nodded happily. "Yep, I think this should be awesome enough."

"What is it?" The other students craned their necks to see what was on the paper.

"Ah, just a little song I wrote for my one and only."

Despite that his obsession over Annabeth annoyed Chloe a little—but really, when _anyone_ besides herself went crazy over their lust object, it grated on her nerves—she couldn't help but suppress a dreamy sigh. "That's _so_ sweet, maybe I'll try writing one for my Lukey-Pie…"

Kip stopped her, er, head banging, and looked at Cole. "So… you write music?"

"Nah, this is one of my first times. But I do have a general understanding of music, so it's not _that_ hard. Oh, and I do like singing."

"Any country music?"

He shook his head. "Not really,"

She slammed her head on the table once more. "Lame,"

He shook his head. "Whatever. Hey, you guys want to hear it?" He waved around the paper.

The other students nodded their heads.

After Cole got done with it, Chloe wiped away a few tears. "Beautiful, absolutely beautiful…"

Kip rolled her eyes. "Meh, it was a bit too… mushy. I think it was dumb," She proudly sported her silvery hunter's garb.

Cole looked miffed, but before he could say something spiteful in response, another person spoke up from the other end of the table.

"I agree. It was lame—Rachel _so_ beats Annabeth." Nicholas Baras said.

"Yeah right!"

"Hey, Rachel is so much braver and smarter than Annabeth ever was!"

"You're stupid!" Cole shot back.

"Well you're—"

"Stop!" Alexandria Nightingale shouted from the other side of the room. "Love is stupid and useless, so you guys just need to—"

"SHUT UP!" Chloe, Cole, and Nicholas all yelled at the same time, and the offender slid back down into her chair.

Just then, two very peculiar people walked past the "study" group, causing everyone to stare. They were both filthy, looked _and_ smelled like they hadn't bathed in ages, and one had a pot stuck on her, and the other had little colorful things—skittles?—braided into her hair. They could've been twins, but Chloe couldn't be sure.

"Who…?" Was all Chloe said as they walked out of the library's massive doors.

The other students blinked, and Eponine shook her head. "Well, that was random."

* * *

><p>Dinner had almost been fully prepared when Ms. Harvest marched into the kitchen, Milo at her side. She looked at the boiling pots, then dismissed the numerous wind nymphs who were cooking the food. After hearing about the terrors of letting Gandalf into the kitchen over at OFUM, the course coordinator refused to let any named canon do any cooking.<p>

As she tasted the soup, she looked thoughtfully at her friend. "I think this needs something…"

Milo came and peered into the pots. "Chicken and rice soup? What else could it need? And… why are we feeding the students such homely food?"

"Well, the canon members have to be fed this also, so we don't want to cause any problems. Though we did have to take out the chicken for the satyrs and centaurs…" She said while rummaging through the cupboards, then pulled out a bunch of bottles filled with orange-red liquid. "That's it! A little spice should make things really good."

After fiddling with the tops of the Tabasco sauce, she dumped the contents into all the pots.

"…Are you sure that's such a good idea…?" Milo asked bewildered.

"Aw, a little spice won't hurt nobody. Nobody, haha… like, Nobody—"

"I get it," Milo rolled her eyes.

She emptied a few more bottles out into the soup, and motioned for Milo to follow her out into the mess hall.

But what was out there was not what Ms. Harvest had been expecting. It was _worse_.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Sorry for not updating last week, I had just finished my first story and I was mentally wiped out. Oh, and thanks so much for all those male enrollments you guys sent in. They really helped. And that brings me to something else. Enrollments are still open, but they'll be closed the next time I update, which could be anywhere from one to two weeks. So, if you would like to send in a student, now is the time to do so.**

**~Ms. Harvest**


	7. Chapter 7

**_Disclaimer: I do not own anything relating to the copyrights of Percy Jackson and the Olympians or the Heroes of Olympus. And I most definitely do not own the idea of the OFU, I give complete credit to misscam, who owns all rights to this idea, with her original Official Fanfiction University of Middle-earth. Nor do I own any other series that I may or may not make reference to. _**

**Chapter Seven- Kitty Kronos and How to Make a Titan Disappear**

Ms. Harvest's jaw dropped open. She had expected a rowdy crowd, but not _this_ bad. The students seemed to be having an all-out riot. Or party, whichever.

Homework was being shredded into confetti and thrown all over the place, fanbrats were working together with their puny muscles to turn over the heavy marble and brass tables, and half of the canon were in a corner, surrounded by the students, who were fiercely brandishing forks and spoons.

"Wait, why are the canon stuck in a corner?" Ms. Harvest exclaimed. "They should be defending themselves!"

Milo looked around in horror. "B-but, you told them that they couldn't harm the students unless they actually tried to glomp them."

"I did…?"

"Yes, at yesterday's staff meeting," Milo confirmed.

"Hmm… why did I do that?"

"I think it was because… something about wasting ambrosia and nectar on dying fangirls? I don't know, but you told them not to attack unless the students actually _touched_ them!"

"I still don't remember that… but hey, I guess that's what secretaries are for." She smiled at her friend.

Milo nodded. "That's exactly what I was thinking."

Ms. Harvest rolled her eyes. "Get real, Milo. Nobody _really_ does that!"

"Yes, but we got Grover to establish an empathy link between us, so…"

"Oh yeah… well, back on subject." The course coordinator scanned the chaos that she and her secretary were talking idly in the midst of. She completely changed her expression in that semi-bipolar-but-in-a-sorta-good-way of hers. "This is bad!"

"You just figured that out?"

She glared at Milo. "Maybe." Then pulled out a conveniently placed microphone, which was connected to a loudspeaker. "FANBRATS! GET A HOLD OF YOURSELVES OR FACE THE WRATH OF THE MINI FURIES!"

The students stopped at once to stare in dread at the course coordinator. At least all of them had had an experience with the misspelled monsters, and none were good. They all looked fearfully at the ceiling as the sound of little leathery wings could be heard fluttering above. Fangs dripped and miniature whips of fire were cracked from where the Mini's perched.

"Good," Ms. Harvest looked around the room. The tables were pushed back up right by some unseen force, and the students found themselves being forcibly put into their seats by that same force. The course coordinator walked around the mess hall, examining the damage.

She traced her finger along a large crack in one of the marble tables, and she stared sharply at the students sitting there. "I suppose," She started. "All the Hephaestus children should learn how to fix things _real_ _soon_. We wouldn't want to cause anymore strain upon the blacksmith himself, considering all he has done for us." She looked over to a hulking man who was sitting at a table situated for canon. He nodded, an angry expression on his misshaped face.

Milo walked briskly over to Ms. Harvest and whispered something to her. She laughed, and shook her head at the secretary. "Of course not, Milo! We're still serving them dinner. They've just landed their first KP duty, though." She smiled sweetly at the students, who groaned, seeing how many people there were in the room and how long it would take them to get the entire dining hall cleaned up.

Ms. Harvest waved it aside. "Well, you all have that to look forward to, so why don't we have dinner served?"

Invisible wind spirits, much like those mentioned to be working at Camp Jupiter, flew around the room, landing bowls of soup in front of every person, canon, staff, and fanbrats alike.

The course coordinator decided to take her seat, and she walked past a good deal of canon who were sitting at the long table. She only caught pieces of the conversation, but some interested her more than others. Nosy girl she is.

When she walked past Sally Jackson, the mortal woman was saying something along the lines of "Soup will make you feel better, Paul! Just take a few spoonfuls."

Paul Blowfis, who happened to be right next to her, was clammy and pail, looking quite sick. "N-no. I'm not hungry."

"Paul, honey, please. You're not going to get any better if you don't eat something!"

"No, I think it might just be the altitude. Being so… high up here may just be messing with me. I think…" He objected to his wife's concerns.

Right across from them sat Poseidon, who was grumbling to himself. "Maybe he just shouldn't be here at all. This is no place for _mortals_." Sally gave him _the_ _look_, and he quieted down, but still not very happy to see Paul.

Ms. Harvest had stopped momentarily to listen. "You know, Mr. Blofis," She started helpfully. "I'm sure you should listen to your wife. The soup should really, ah, _clear_ your head." She nodded and kept walking on.

Nico di Angelo soon came down the line. Each time he scooped up the orange food, he then let it fall back into his bowl.

"Nico, you shouldn't play with your dinner." His sister chided, her silvery image flickering in and out.

"Just because you're back doesn't mean you have to act like my mom…" He muttered, but still looked happy to have Bianca back, dead or not.

Hades scowled from across the table. "Children, will you _stop_ bickering, it is getting _quite_ old."

A ghostly, faded Shade was sitting next to the god. "Hades," Her voice, carrying a heavy Italian accent, came like a soft whisper. "Please, we do not need to be starting family arguments now that we are back together."

"Yes, my dear." The lord of the dead gritted out.

Ms. Harvest still walked on, but her expression turned thoughtful. "Milo, remind me again why I brought Maria di Angelo here? I mean, was it really necessary?"

Milo looked down at her papers. "Well, I think you said you wanted to gather _all_ of the canon for the university, even the beyond minor ones like Mark or Sherman—who I'm still not sure who they are—so that… well, I'm not really sure why."

"Ares," Was all she said.

"What?"

"Mark and Sherman—sons of Ares. They were briefly mentioned in the Demigod Files." The course coordinator confirmed.

"Oh, um… well." Milo tucked that piece of information away for future use, but otherwise forgot it instantly. The two found empty seats and sat down with the few uncanonicals that were currently at the university.

Ms. Harvest looked around at the other staff. "How have the past few days been going?"

Ms. Huffernheimer sighed happily and clapped her hands together. "Ah, it has been sublime! Except for the students' preposterous grammar and all."

"Well, that's obvious, they're fanbrats! What did you expect?" Milo asked incredulously.

"Well, I don't know!" The grammar teacher huffed.

Ms. Harvest moved past their conversation and looked over at her brother. "What about you? How is your _wonderful_ job as alert security going?"

Caleb glared at his older sister. "I hate it. It's _still_ boring. And come on, can't I have something more than a dagger and a flashlight? A _gladius_ might be cool, or a pair of swords or something."

"Hmm… let me think about it." She paused for a second. "Ah, nope!"

"Fine." He glared some more, but remembered something else. "Oh, did you ever have that thing I found checked out? It seemed a bit… suspicious."

"It was probably just a plothole, nothing to be worried about."

"I don't know, it didn't look good." He insisted.

"It'll be fine. I'll have it checked out soon." She assured him, not planning to actually do so.

"Would you like me to write that down in your planner?" Milo asked helpfully.

Now it was Ms. Harvest's turn to give the death look. "That would _peachy_. You know, Milo, sometimes you're just _too_ helpful for your own good."

Milo smiled. "I know. Either I'm too helpful or not at all. Don't you just love that about me?"

"Sure, whatever. Oh, and do you know when the other noncanonical staff we hired are going to get here?"

The redhead flipped through her binders. "Uh… doesn't look like it'll be for a week or two. A month, at most."

Ms. Harvest sighed. "Great… we could really use them right now…"

On the other side of the dining hall where the students were sitting, the invisible hand that shoved each one into their seats loosened up. Chloe rolled her shoulders, trying to get comfortable. This was the first time she had been with her new roommates since yesterday morning.

"So Chloe, how was it like being dead? Did you, like, go to the Underworld, or what?" Joe leaned forward over her soup.

"Er, I don't know… I don't think I was dead." Chloe shrugged. "Besides, if I was, shouldn't I be all zombie-ish and smelly and just look all blechy?"

Max shrugged. "Who knows? But I did hear that they have really terrible punishments at this school that could result in death. Hopefully it has nothing to do with sharks—or spiders. I don't like spiders."

"It's just because you chose to be a child of Athena." Joe challenged.

"_Minerva_, actually." The older girl corrected. "And besides, spiders have never been my thing."

"I'm sure." Joe said, just a slight bit of sarcasm in her voice.

Lexine looked back and forth between the arguing girls before taking a spoonful of her soup. The girl instantly gagged on it, and spit it back into her bowl, making her roommates stare at her with wide eyes. "…Spicy…" Was all she said, taking a big drink out of her goblet.

"I'm sure it's not _that_ bad." Chloe took a sip of her own soup, and had the same reaction.

Joe and Max both stopped arguing and started laughing at the two. Then the mortal got a weird smile on her face. "Say, Max, you wanna have a contest to see who can eat it the fastest?"

Max looked a little hesitantly at what the others had done. "Are you sure that's a good idea? I mean—"

"Turkey?"

"What did you just call me?"

Joe coughed. "Ah, I meant chicken. I like to throw random words out there."

"Ah… okay? Well, of course I'm not _chicken_. Or turkey. Whatever." Max sneered. "Prepare to taste sweet—ah, I mean spicy—defeat!"

"Oh, I'm not going to be eating it, you are!" And the two started spooning the Tabasco-rich chicken and rice soup.

Chloe soon became bored of her roommates whimpering over their burned taste buds—but still eating, of course, neither of them had planned on losing—and turned her attention elsewhere.

The only other person Chloe recognized at their table was Raven Yves, but she appeared to staring down someone across the room.

"What're you doing?" Chloe asked, trying to figure out who her new friend was looking at.

"H-huh? Oh," She turned her attention to Chloe, but her eyes kept flicking back. "There's a girl over there—Sterling Blazer, I think."

"What about her?"

"She thinks Nico is all hers. Well, she's _wrong_. I need to keep my eye on her, and make sure she doesn't steal my man."

Chloe sighed. "That's so great. I mean, if there are any other girls here with eyes for my Lukey-Pie, well, they'd learn not to mess with true love real soon."

"Exactly," The hunter agreed, and flipped her black hair, annoyed. "But some people never learn." And she went back to glaring at the girl, occasionally turning her line of vision to her lust object.

Chloe decided not to try talking to her any more. She knew that if it was her guy she was guarding, she wouldn't want anyone distracting her.

"Already planning to overcome your lust objects so soon? Typical." A voice said from behind her.

"What?" Chloe turned around to see a girl with brown hair, who looked to be about Max's age, maybe a little older, looking at her.

The girl laughed. "I remember when I was just like you. Actually, if I was completely opposite then I shouldn't be here…" She looked up thoughtfully.

Chloe looked irritably at the girl sitting at the table behind her. "What are you talking about?"

"Girl, I'm just trying to say, don't go after him. Luke, I think you said? Yeah, don't try getting anywhere near him."

She was about to interject about breaking up "true love," but the other student kept talking.

"I may or may not have been to other universities like this one before, but let me tell you, this one is _bad_."

Chloe could tell by her tone that she wasn't joking. "Wh-what's so bad about this one?"

The girl took a few side glances, then leaned in a closer. "They. Took. My. COOKIES!"

Chloe blinked. "Wait—they—your—what?"

"My cookies!" The girl sobbed on. "They took my entire arsenal! This place is terrible!"

The other student blinked a few times, not sure what to say. Had she said _arsenal_? Of… cookies? "Um… there, there," She tried to comfort awkwardly, reminiscent to all those who watch _The Big Bang Theory_.

The girl sat back in her seat. "Anyway, just watch out for the staff, they're pure _evil_. Watch your back, ah—"

"Chloe."

"Yes, Chloe. Oh, and I'm Karen. Karen Elaine DuLay, but you can just call me Karen if you like, or Karen DuLay, or all three of my names. I also use the title 'Cookie Lord.'" She smiled like she was completely sane.

"Uh…"

"Just remember, keep your friends close, and your cookies closer." And with that, she turned around in her seat, and went back to eating. Or trying to eat, that is.

"Okay, then," Chloe did likewise, and faced Lexine. "You have true love for a character too, don't you?"

The quiet girl just shook her head.

"Seriously? What about you, Joe?"

"Not really." Joe shrugged with her mouth open, still burning from the excess hot sauce.

"Max?"

"Well… I do like Percy, but… I'm too scared of Annabeth." She responded truthfully. "I wouldn't want to get on that girl's bad side."

Chloe's jaw dropped. "Wh-what do you mean? You don't believe in true love!" She hollered.

"Well… I really did want to run up on the stage yesterday to talk to him, but… _Annabeth_." She shuddered.

That reminded the fanbrat of something. "Who else did they introduce yesterday? I think I missed a lot, and I really want to know who is who. I don't even know what this Nico person looks like."

"You don't? Oh… but they did introduce Thalia," Lexine put in. "And Rachel. Tyson, too."

"Don't forget Nico," Raven put in dreamily. "I got hit so hard with a frying pan because I tried to race stupid _Sterling_ to get him, I think I died. But it was worth it…" Then she went back to glaring at her rival.

"Okay then," Max rolled her eyes, and took another drink of her water.

* * *

><p>Dinner was almost over by the time Ms. Harvest took her first bite of soup. She was too busy surveying the vast room where everyone—fanbrats, staff, and canon—were all seated at the rows of marble tables. Even the Mini's were gnawing on their food up in their perches. She enjoyed basking in its grandeur.<p>

So, when it came time for her to actually eat, the course coordinator had about the same reaction as everyone else. "Sweet immortals of Asgard, that's spicy!"

Milo (insert face-palm here) and sighed. "And _who's_ fault could that be, I wonder?"

"Not mine! I'm going to have to go track down whoever did this…" She got up and walked away. Ms. Harvest was actually getting up to get a microphone, but she could talk to those pesky _aurai_ on her way, of course.

"Fanbrats!" She yelled into the microphone. "Time to clean up! Chop chop!"

A unanimous sigh filled the mess hall. That was another thing Ms. Harvest was sure she would never get tired of: miserable fan writers in need of discipline.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Chloe woke up quite unhappy, her hands raw from washing dishes the entire night. Ms. Harvest had told them that next time they misbehaved enough to earn KP, she would make them wash the dishes with lava, like the harpies usually did.<p>

Without waiting for her roommates, Chloe charged out of the door, determined to be to class on time so that Ms. Huffernheimer wouldn't hurt her even more.

She took a deep breath, then opened the simple wooden door, put on a wide smile, and walked inside.

Ms. Huffernheimer looked up from the homework she was going over. "Ah, Miss O'Brien, what are you doing here?"

"Uh, isn't this my first class every day?"

"I do believe you're confused! Just because this has been your first class for the first two meager days you've been here, does not mean that this is always your first class!"

"What?" Chloe dug around for her schedule. "Ah! What the heck is wrong with this? My schedule is all changed!"

The English teacher shrugged. "We like to keep you sharp on your nose. Now, get going to your class, you wouldn't want to be _late_." She smiled.

"Nose?"

"Just go, dear."

Chloe growled in frustration and stormed out of the door. Taking one more look at the paper, she tried to follow the map to her first class that morning: Western Civ. 101—How to Destroy It. That sounded promising, and the fanbrat rushed through the halls to get there.

Huffing, she arrived at a pair of large doors that went all the way up to ceiling. They made her feel so… tiny and insignificant. Chloe reached out to push them open, and the dull iron was freezing against her fingertips. Taking a step back, she shuddered. When the light hit the majestic doors at certain angles, pictures could be seen on them. It was like they were moving, and she had the feeling she was seeing the world crumble to pure _evil_. It was almost enough to scare the fangirl out of her—that's right, they were _that_ bad. She forced herself to look away, fearing for anything else she might see in them.

Without looking, the girl pushed open the door, heart beating fast. Thankfully, the inside wasn't that bad. The other side of the door was merely emblazoned with scythe emblems—though they still gave Chloe the jitters—but overall, the room was pretty cozy. The dark marbled walls gave off a warm feeling, much different than the other rooms she had been in.

Chloe didn't recognize anyone, so she just sat down in a random spot. And was instantly tackled in a hug. "I'm scared…" A voice said from the body that was smashing the student on the ground.

"Get off of me!" Chloe tried to say, but it just came out as muffled sounds. The other person seemed to get the hint though, and released her.

Chloe stared up at the girl. She was probably a little bit older than herself—thirteen or fourteen—and was African American, with curly hair.

"What was that for?" Chloe demanded.

"Sorry, I got scared. It's all dark and spooky in here, and I don't like places like that." The girl's eyes widened when she looked around the room.

Despite the welcoming warmth, it was true. Even the braziers burning along the walls held black fire in them. It was a little eerie, but she still didn't understand why she had to jump on her like that. "Just… don't do that again." She got up from the hard marble floor and sat in her seat.

"Okay!" The girl smiled wide. "But I do like giving people huggles! It makes me so happy!" She bounced in her seat.

Chloe leaned away a little, regretting that she had chosen to sit here.

The girl kept blabbering about random things like rainbows, unicorns, Nico and Leo and how much she lovies them. "Oh, and my name is Jordan! Isn't that an awesome name?"

"Uh, sure." Chloe was about to say something more when she heard footsteps coming from the stage.

Ms. Harvest smiled wickedly as she and Milo approached the microphone. She had to adjust it to her shorter stature with one hand, a ball of fluff being in the other. "_Hello_, fanbrats! Welcome to Western Civ. 101—How to Destroy It. In this class, you will be learning how to write for positively _evil_ characters."

Most of the students weren't looking at her, but were trying to figure out what was in her arms.

"You will be learning from the professionals themselves—the big bad Titans and giants and everything in between. Now—what are you all staring at?" The course coordinator looked around. "Oh, yes. This delightful little creature will be your main teacher."

She held up an extremely fluffy animal, Lion King style.

"What is that?" One of the students called out.

"Pure evil!" Ms. Harvest cackled, then coughed. "Milo, put in my planner 'practice evil laugh.' Yes, that's good." She returned back to the students. "This, my dear students, is the titan lord himself."

The same student from before started laughing hysterically. "Th-that's Kronos? Ooh, I'm so scared!" He threw himself into another bout of laughing.

The cat turned its head slowly to the student, and before Ms. Harvest could react, it leapt out of her arms. It instantly jumped onto the boy's head and clawed for all it was worth. The laughs soon turned into screams.

Milo looked around frantically in her pouch, then pulled out a remote. She pointed at the rogue cat and pressed a button. "Kronos" soon came running back, and Ms. Harvest looked satisfied. "Electric collars never fail."

The attacked student was taken away to the infirmary via air patrol, aka Mini Furies.

The course coordinator scooped up the fluffy grey cat and glared at the students. "And that is why you do not mess with the titan lord."

One brave soul raised his hand. "If that really _is_ Kronos, then… why is he a cute little kitty of all things?"

"Oh, I assure you, Mister Maverics, this is him. And why a cat? Well, in the end of the Last Olympian, his presence was destroyed so badly that little pieces of his consciousness were spread worldwide. We tediously recollected those pieces, but it was only enough to fill the capacity of a cat. And besides, if we could get it all, why on Olympus would we put it back into a man's body? So that he could just attempt to destroy the gods for a third time?"

Some of the students nodded their heads, finding that reasonable.

The cat glared out at the students, golden eyes piercing each one who dared to meet them. "I _will_ get my revenge," The cat declared, but no one expected the voice that came out of it. It was expected that Kronos would now have a cute, yet "evil" voice since he was in the body of such a cute animal, much like Yzma from _The Emperor's New Groove_. It was not such with the Titan lord.

His voice still sounded much like how it was described in the books: ancient, bone chilling, and _evil_. When he spoke, the room's temperature seemed to drop.

"Olympus will fall by my hands!" He continued, and the students shuddered with each word.

Ms. Harvest just smirked. "You mean by your _paws_, correct?" He struggled in her arms, but she kept a tight grip on the cat. "Now, now, Kronos, I'm sure you don't want me to get you declawed?" She clucked mockingly, and the cat stopped squirming, but spoke up again.

"Revenge shall be mine! Brick by brick, Olympus will fall—" Before he could say another word, Ms. Harvest threw the Titan kitty into the air, and he disappeared.

"Wh-what just happened?" Chloe whispered once the temperature went back up, but with the design of the room, her voice carried all the way to the stage.

"Ah, what just happened?" The course coordinator looked around at the frightened students and laughed. "Plotholes are what happened! Though they can be quite unstable and hard to control, we keep a large amount of them in this particular classroom, just in case one of the, ah, _teachers_ goes berserk and tries to tear down the place. Or when they just get out of hand, like our titan lord almost did. It's called premeditated security." She smiled like nothing was weird about the fact she had just made an animal disappear in some invisible thing called a "plothole," which the students still didn't know what that meant.

Most of the fanbrats just swallowed and looked around the room nervously. This was going to be a _long_ course.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Okay, sorry for not getting this updated last week. Which reminds me, I'll probably only update this one more time before Christmas, I have another story I'm working on for the holidays that **_**must**_** get done. I have a strict date I have to finish by. And because we all know that the holidays are busy times in and of themselves, I might not even have time to write the new chapter. So basically, hope for one more before Christmas, but don't count on it being here.**

**Also, student enrollments are CLOSED. I was nice and took in the ones from the reviews, even though I asked for them only to be sent through PM. I did not take the anonymous ones, though. So, if you have not seen your character yet, never fear, I will be getting them all in soon. Which leads me to another announcement: Teacher positions are open! Visit the very bottom of my profile for more information, and PM me if you would like to teach. DO NOT let me know through reviews, because I will not accept you then. And remember, just because you want a position does not mean you are going to get it.**

**Thanks for reading.**

**~Ms. Harvest**


	8. Chapter 8

****_Disclaimer: I do not own anything relating to the copyrights of Percy Jackson and the Olympians or the Heroes of Olympus. And I most definitely do not own the idea of the OFU, I give complete credit to misscam, who owns all rights to this idea, with her original Official Fanfiction University of Middle-earth. Nor do I own any other series that I may or may not make reference to. _****

**Chapter Eight—Stole? Stoll? Stolen? Stollen? What?**

Chloe decided that the last hour she had spent in class had been completely wasted. The Staff hadn't been able to get Kitty Kronos out of the plothole, and all the students just sat there in silence, most of which were too scared to even try talking to their neighbors. Ms. Harvest had made them sit there for the entire class session, not letting any of them out to roam the halls, just in case they were to get the teacher out of his prison.

The fanbrat cursed, just now thinking about how she could have been writing spicy Luke fics in her notebook, having nothing else to do. Maybe she could do that in the next class, and pretend she was taking notes. Yes! That was a perfect idea! She continued a little faster to her next class, even though she had no idea where she was going.

Lost in her thoughts of what yummy story to write Luke into, she didn't notice her name being called.

"Chloe! Hey, wait up!"

She turned around to see some of her new friends—or at least that's what _she_ thought of them. The feeling may or may not have been mutual. Hayley ran up in the lead, with Cole and a girl Chloe didn't recognize close behind. She had dark hair and messy bangs, like Chloe's, just pushed to one side.

"Hey," Eponine said behind Chloe, a bit out of breath. "You were practically running! Where are you going in such a rush?"

"Ah! Where did you come from?" Chloe spun around.

Eponine smiled. "I guess you just didn't see me behind you. I enjoy sneaking up on people."

"Oh…"

"So, Chloe, why _were_ you running down the halls?" Hayley asked. "I mean, what if it's against the rules? You never know when those demon spawn could be around…" She looked down the halls cautiously.

"The Mini Furies?" Cole asked, then shrugged. "Aw, you have nothing to worry about! I could kill one of those things easy! I doubt they could hurt me. I mean, did you see the way I dodged those things in canon class when I was wooing Annabeth?" he asked, a goofy smile on his face. "I was all like, 'Annabeth! I love you!' and she was all like, 'Oh Cole, you're so awesome!' and then those things were like, 'Raaahg! We're going to eat you!' and I was all like—"

"Oookay, Cole, I think that's enough." Eponine cut into his narration with the added sound effects.

"Well, _I_ think it was pretty _cool_." the girl Chloe didn't know said, not exactly sincerely.

"Thanks!"

"I was being sarcastic, you dumb head." the girl retorted.

"Ah, who is this, and why _did_ you bring her along? I never even caught her name." Hayley eyed the girl.

"This is Sterling—" Cole started, but the girl cut him off.

"Sterling Blazer, daughter of Hephaestus." She folded her arms over her chest.

Chloe blinked. _Sterling Blazer_… where had she heard that name before?

"So, who are all you guys?" Sterling asked.

"Hayley Kinnon," the taller girl said, and stuck out her hand politely for Sterling to shake.

She didn't return the gesture, but just looked Hayley up and down critically. "What are you supposed to be?"

"Excuse me?"

Sterling rolled her eyes. "Like, a demigod, or what?"

"Oh, I'm just a mortal." Hayley smiled.

"Lame," was all Starling said, and Hayley looked down, a little hurt. "What about you?" She motioned to Eponine.

"Eponine Stone. Oh, and I'm a demigod alright—Greek daughter of Demeter." Eponine showed off her orange Camp Half-Blood t-shirt.

Sterling nodded in approval, then turned to Chloe. "And you, blondie?"

"You…" Chloe muttered.

"What?"

"You, I know who you are…" Chloe raked her brain, trying to find a piece of information that she hadn't really cared about when she had heard it.

"So what?" Sterling raised an eyebrow.

Chloe didn't respond, trying to think. Then the name _Sterling_ clicked. "You! It's you!"

Before Sterling could respond to her sudden outburst, a voice from behind them cried: "You!"

They all spun around to see Raven marching down the hall. "How _dare_ you show your face here!"

Sterling put a hand on her hip and cocked her head. "I _live_ here for now, along with all the rest of you idiots, so I have the perfect right to be here, _Yves_." She sneered.

"You think you can just _have_ Nico? Oh no, you have to go through me _first_!" Raven yelled.

"Uh, come now, girls, Nico doesn't belong to anybody!" Cole tried to stand in between them. "Why don't we resolve this reasonably like civil—"

"NO!" they screamed at the same time, and Cole shrunk back.

"Besides, Nico would so go for me _way_ before you. Me being perfect and all." Sterling stuck her chin up.

"If you're so perfect, then why would you be at this university, you moron?" Raven countered.

"You have the nerve—" Sterling shrieked, but was stopped by Raven.

"Why don't we settle this?" Raven put up her fists.

"You really want to take me on? Bad idea."

"Oh, I can take you all day long, sister!" And with that, Raven lunged.

Sterling was knocked to the ground, and the two started struggling—scratching, biting, kicking, pulling hair—whatever they thought would work.

"Catfight…" Cole muttered, and started walking away. Chloe, Eponine, and Hayley followed, not wishing to be associated if they were to get caught.

But as soon as they were out of sight from the two, Trouble decided to confront them once again.

"Hey, you!" someone shouted from the end of the hall. Nicholas Baras, along with Macie McGuire—yet another Athena student—and Cameron Kimura, a nerdy mortal guy, came from the other end.

"Oh boy, I should probably, er… be getting to class now. Yeah, classes! _Very_ important!" Cole turned on his heal and started running.

"I have a bone to pick with you!" Nicholas yelled, and he and the other two started chasing him.

The girls who were with Cole suddenly had the urge to run also, seeing the angry expressions coming towards them. They turned to go, but the hall their friend had run down was somehow replaced with a wall.

"What the…?" Hayley stared at the wall, completely baffled.

Chloe and Eponine didn't say anything as the other small group skidded to a halt, and Macie tripped over her own feet and hit the dust—er, marble. There was nothing dusty about the cold, hard floors.

"What's going on?" Chloe asked after they were settled, and their feet were firmly planted in the ground.

"Where's that one kid?" Cameron asked, readjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose. "We're here to, uh… hmm, why are we here again?"

Macie shook her head. "We're trying to find that Rachel-hating scum. He's insulted one of the best characters in the entire series one too many times."

Hayley blinked. "But it's only our third day here, and… you guys are all ready starting a _shipping war_?" she asked in disbelief.

"Wh-what? No, of course not!" Nicholas sighed in exasperation. "I'm perfectly fine with Percabeth, it keeps Percy out of Rachel's way. Why would you ever assume that I didn't like that couple?"

"Well, usually when someone prefers Rachel over Annabeth, they usually like Prachel better." Eponine pointed out.

"Uh, this is going to sound stupid," Chloe started. "But who _is_—"

"Didn't we just have a conversation like this yesterday, in the library?" a familiar voice said, cutting Chloe's question off. The group of students whirled around to see Kip Dare, flanked by Alexandria Nightingale, standing off to their right, who were both in their Hunter's uniforms. "But that doesn't matter," Kip waved it aside. "I still think this whole shipping stuff is stupid."

"And what gives you the right to say that?" Chloe spat out spitefully.

"Yeah!" Nicholas agreed.

"Well, we _are_ people. Gosh, we can have our own opinions, you know!" Kip exclaimed.

"But still, you guys don't know anything!" Nicholas shot back.

"No, it's just boys that don't know anything!" the Hunter shot back. "You males have as much in your heads as an empty pickle jar!"

"Hey! I take that as an offence!" Cameron cut into the conversation. "I bet none of _you_ are already preparing for college. I mean, seriously, I bet I'm the oldest one in this group. Anyone else sixteen? You two are only, what, thirteen?" He motioned to his two companions.

"Actually, I'm fourteen," Macie corrected.

"I'm almost thirteen!" Chloe put in, though the question wasn't directed at her.

Kip just stared at her for a second, then shook her head. "But this is beside the point. We should all be able to have our own opinions."

"I second that notion," Hayley nodded.

"Well, I don't care that _you_ do," Alexandria folded her arms. "I mean, really, love only gets you hurt when it comes down to the end."

"And yeah, please don't tell me any of you actually 'lust' after any of the characters, like that enrollment sheet said." Kip scoffed.

"Well, heh, I _do_ like Rachel. A lot." Nicholas rubbed the back of his neck, a little embarrassed.

"And Lukey," Chloe said dreamily, and the two Hunters stuck their tongues out in disgust at the fangirl.

Eponine and Hayley just shrugged, not having eyes for anyone in particular.

"I hero-worship, but I don't think that counts…" Macie's voice trailed off.

After a few moments of silence, the two boy haters looked expectantly at Cameron. "And what about you, _boy_? How far do you lower yourself in idiotic fanboy actions?" Alexandria asked.

Cameron looked around sheepishly. "Uh… does J. K. Rowling count?"

Kip smacked her forehead. "Okay, you know what, I'm done with this conversation. C'mon, Alexis." she said, and the two Hunters walked back down the halls they came from.

"Well," Hayley sighed. "That conversation went way off course."

"Yeah… what were we talking about anyways before those two idiots showed up?" Nicholas asked.

"Uh… that Rachel girl, I think." Chloe reminded him, and then muttered: "Whoever that is…"

"Oh yeah!" The student's demeanor quickly turned from forgetful to that easily recognizable you-better-watch-your-back-because-you've-annoyed-me-and-I-will-get-you-one-day-because-I'm-so-awesome-let's-not-go-on-any-more-or-else-this-string-of-words-will-become-a-whole-paragraph attitude. "I've seen you three with that Cole punk. Tell him I'm lookin' for him, and that he better watch his back from now on." He flipped his dark hair and turned around.

"Why are we even hanging around this idiot?" Cameron murmured to Macie.

She shrugged. "I guess because we're trying to defend Rachel's good name? I dunno."

"But I don't even like Rachel all that much…"

Chloe watched them go, and looked behind her at Eponine and Hayley. "So—ah! Where did this wall come from?" She started banging on the wall that had somehow appeared, isolating her from the other students. "What the heck?" she screamed, then took out her map, and started to dash in the opposite direction of the magic walls that seemed to be appearing and rearranging themselves at will.

Whoever was in charge must have swapped out her map for a way better one, because now there was a flashing red dot on it that seemed to follow Chloe's movements as she ran down the halls. What made it weird was that it was on paper. _Paper_.

Chloe stopped and concentrated on the sheet. The halls pictured on it seemed to be constantly shifting, rearranging the courses to each room. She squinted at it. There seemed to be a wall formation thingy heading right at the red dot…

She looked up to see a barrier emerging from the wall in front of her. _Right in front of her_. The fanbrat screamed and jumped out of the way before she could get crushed. The new wall that had just put Chloe in a dead end extended all the way from the floor to the ceiling, like it had been there forever. She looked at it in sheer horror and leaned against the wall next to it, bewildered.

Really, how long does it take for someone to learn better than to do something like that? The other wall slid away, and Chloe fell backwards. After picking herself up, the student looked down the new corridor, which was brightly lit by lanterns hanging on the top of the walls and bronze braziers burning along bottom.

Chloe looked frantically at her schedule, which happened to be conveniently placed on the other side of her map, then found the room her next class belonged to on the other side.

"'What's In a Name'… whatever that is, I don't care!" she muttered, then started running down the halls to her classroom, her eyes glued to the blinking dot. And apparently, she wasn't paying very much attention to the actual map, seeing how she ran into a few walls on the way.

What she would give to be able to Shadow Travel right at that moment. Well, if she even knew about that form of transportation, that is. Uneducated fanbrat…

* * *

><p>From in front of the security room's video screens, Ms. Harvest cackled at the chaos going on in the halls of the massive building. She and Milo surveyed the students jumping out of the way of shifting walls—some even screaming or crying from terror.<p>

"Ah, it was a good idea, don't you think, Milo? Finally getting the whole 'constantly shifting Labyrinth' design programmed into the school's interface seems to be working better than I had thought."

Milo nodded in agreement, then looked behind her shoulder. "Thanks, Daedalus, we couldn't have done it without you."

The ghostly old man in the corner of the room nodded grimly. "Yes, but do these—ah, _fanbrats_, as you call them—really deserve to be treated this way?"

Ms. Harvest laughed. "You have no idea… say, do you think that you could install all the traps that your original Labyrinth had? That would be so wicked!"

"Wicked indeed," The inventor rubbed the murderer's brand on his neck, as if it was bothering him. "If I were to really do that, you would first have to prove to me that these young students deserve a worse punishment than the spirits of the damned in the Fields of Punishment."

"True, true," she agreed. The course coordinator scanned the room, and her eyes landed on her brother, who was watching the security screens intently. She then took a glance at her magical golden pocket watch that had secret magical powers. "Caleb, I need you to find the Stolls, and escort them to class. It's their turn for 'What's in a Name.'"

"No, please don't make me!" He looked at her pleadingly. "I-I… you know how they are! They'll probably tie me to the wall and run away or something!"

Ms. Harvest put up her hands. "Hey, it's your job."

"I thought I was just Alert Security!"

"You must not have read the contract very well, then. It says that getting the canon from one place to another is in your job description."

Caleb shook his head at her. "_What_ contract? All you said was 'Hey, you think you wanna come up to a fictional projection of Olympus that's hanging over a fictional Manhattan? It'll be fun! Oh, you want the job? Good, good, let's go!'"

She snickered. "Oops, I must have forgotten that darn contract! Silly me!"

He glared at his sister.

"Please, stop that, it makes you look stupid." Ms. Harvest waved her hand and headed for the door. "C'mon, probie, your job awaits."

"Don't call me that!"

"Probie. Probie, probie, probie, probie—"

"All right, just stop!" Caleb exclaimed. "I'm not going to do this!"

"I'm your boss! You do what I say, little boy."

He stood there indignantly. "No."

Ms. Harvest blinked a few times, then looked at Milo. "You're closer, smack him in the back of his head."

Milo obliged before Caleb could duck, though she was wishing it was her younger brother, not her best friend's. Well, it was still satisfying.

Ms. Harvest cackled. "Ooh, you just got Gibbs'ed!"

"You're not even an avid NCIS fan!" Caleb objected.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just get on with this already. Probie." She opened the door with her secretary in tow, and Caleb followed grudgingly.

"Best of luck," Daedalus murmured before the head of Alert Security left the room.

"Yeah, thanks…"

Conveniently, both of the Stoll brothers happened to be walking down the hallway just as the noncanonicals came out of the security room. Of course, their arms were filed with duct tape, silly string, rope, paint, and some sticks that looked suspiciously like dynamite. When the two saw the other Staff coming, their pace down the hall took a notably quicker pace.

"Hey, you two, hold up!" Ms. Harvest ran up to them. "Where are you going so quickly? You guys have a class to teach!" She smiled like this option would be much more fun than anything they were planning.

"We're not doing not anything suspicious! Right, bro?" Connor looked at his brother expectantly.

"Of course not, why would you think so?" Travis smiled innocently.

"Guys… I didn't even ask what you were doing."

Travis tried to elbow his brother for saying something in the first place, and they both dropped a few items. Ms. Harvest bent down to pick up a bright paper box.

"Is this… gum?" She fiddled with the package, trying to get it open. She ended up getting electrocuted—though everyone should've expected that, in the first place.

The Stoll brothers dropped their materials and started laughing. Once they calmed down, Travis started picking the stuff back up. "That one never gets old." He wiped the tears from his eyes.

Ms. Harvest scowled at them, tempting to give them a taste of some voltage of her own, but she decided against it, seeing how that would set a bad example. Noncanonicals directly hurting canon? That wouldn't be good for her record. But punishing them with work some other way…? Yes, that could do. And so, she just shook the lingering tingles out of her fingers and smiled. "You two have class to teach, as I said before. Caleb here will be escorting you two, and if I hear that either of you caused him any trouble… well, expect something _bad_."

They nodded unhappily and turned around. "Hold up," Ms. Harvest sighed.

Travis and Connor turned around very slowly and held out their suspicious items. Ms. Harvest and Milo confiscated them, and sent them on their merry little way.

Caleb took the two from there, guiding them to the proper classroom. Of course, he didn't notice them silently scheming out a plan behind his back. Literally. He constantly shifted his eyes behind him, making sure they didn't escape without him noticing. Each time he did, the Stolls were just smiling at him stupidly.

The head of Alert Security blinked a few times, and sighed inwardly. Who knew this job would be so nerve wracking? After five or so tension-filled moments, Caleb arrived at the secret door that led onto the stage of the proper room. "Here we are… now get going." He turned around to look at them.

"Thanks, we never could've found it without you!" Connor put his thumbs up.

"I'm sure…"

"Weeeeell, let's get going! We've got some teaching to do!" Travis said as he brushed past the Staff member, who didn't notice a small, almost unnoticeable device that wouldn't be found until much later being planted onto his shirt.

Caleb nodded, and headed off, making sure the troublemakers went into the door first.

As Travis and Connor stood behind the only wall that separated them from the fanbrats, they traded high fives. "Awesome job, bro! The plan seems to be working good!"

"Shh!" Travis hushed his brother, clapping his hand over his mouth. "Someone could be listening!" he hissed.

Connor ripped his brother's hand off of his face and shoved him lightly. "I know! We've done stuff like this millions of times! I know when to talk and when not to!"

"Yeah, but we've never done anything _here_ before! The security is way high tec!" he shoved his brother back.

"Again, we always plan things out! I already cut the security for this room. Do you think I'm stupid?" Another shove was given.

Travis smirked. "Of course I do, but that doesn't mean I've got complete trust in your skills every which way!" He pushed his brother a little harder this time.

"Hey, when have I ever let you down?" Connor looked at him in disbelief, and shoved his brother just as hard.

"Oh, I don't know! A couple of times, maybe more? And besides, every time we mess up it's in unfamiliar territory! Don't you remember how we totally goofed when messing with that Hunter's shirt? We all most got fried!" This time when he pushed Connor, they stumbled out into view. They didn't notice this, of course.

"Stop shoving me!" Another push.

"You started it!" And yet another shove.

"Stop being such a butthead, Travis!" But before the next retaliation could happen, someone in the audience cleared his throat.

The brothers stopped what they were doing and stared wide-eyed at the expectant students, and stood up straight.

"Uh… hi there." Connor raised his hand in greeting awkwardly. "Welcome to, uh… what's the name, again?"

Travis smacked the back of his brother's head. "Excuse my brother's stupidness. Welcome to 'What's in a Name: Stoll Edition!' As I'm sure you've figured out, I'm Travis Stoll, and this is my—"

"OMG, TRAVIS AND KATIE FOREVER!" a crazed fangirl screamed, cutting off the Stoll.

"—brother, Connor." Travis raised an eyebrow, and his face turned bright red.

Connor couldn't help but stifle a laugh. "Dude, you're all red!"

"Lies!" Travis yelled. "There is _no_ proof for the Tratie theory! Why must everyone insist that uptight, stubborn, daughter of a tree-hugger and I are secretly in love just because our arguments were recorded once! _Once_!"

"Aww, he's trying to deny it! That's _sooo_ cute!" another fanbrat squealed.

"Th-this is beside the point! We're simply teaching you guys how to spell our names properly!" Travis spluttered. "You can take it from here, Connor."

His brother smiled. "Even though most demigods are dyslexic, this does not mean we don't know how to spell our own names! What kind of idiot would even think that?"

"Because really, it's not funny." Travis put in.

"Yeah, so don't do that." He motioned with his hand and a few Minis flew down. "Though our names aren't spelled wrong often, we still have a few. Guys, meet Conor, Conner, Coner, Travas, Stole, and Stolles. Why _I_ have the most in this bunch, I don't know."

"Maybe it's because they all look like you." Travis shrugged.

"The only reason I'm not making a witty comeback is because we're supposed to be teaching." Connor glanced back at his brother sarcastically, then continued. "My name is spelled C-O-N-N-O-R. Remember that."

"And mine is T-R-A-V-I-S. Our last name is spelled S-T-O-L-L, not S-T-O-L-E. There's a difference."

"Yeah… so, I think that's it. Any questions?"

The room settled in silence, until one person raised her hand. "DO YOU HAVE TWIN POWERS? L-LIKE THE WONDER TWINS?"

They just stared at the unnamed girl *cough* Jordan Santiago *cough* and shook their heads. "Seriously!" Connor sighed in exasperation. "How long will it take for people to learn that we have no powers?"

Travis punched his brother in the arm. "You are such a moron sometimes!" He then turned to the audience, his face no longer having that mischievous grin of his. "We—are—not—_twins_. It's written throughout the series! And besides, it's obvious that I'm older than Connor."

"Not really." the distinctive voice of Ms. Harvest rang through the hall. No one could see where it came from, but most of the students shrunk back from the sudden noise. A portal of Darkness swirled open on the stage, and the course coordinator and Milo walked out. "Ah, dark corridors are quite useful—I'm glad we learned how to use them."

"Yeah, except that each time we do, they erode a little more Darkness into our hearts until our souls are completely sunken in the black abyss of Nothingness… well, if I had a soul, that is." Milo sighed.

"Well spoken—though quite emo—but well spoken indeed." Ms. Harvest opened her magical golden pocket watch that had secret magical powers and checked the time.

"Is… is that real gold?" Connor raised an eyebrow.

"Hmm? Oh, of course it is."

"And it also has secret magical powers." Milo added.

"How did you know about that? I thought it was a secret!" She closed it and put it back into her pocket. "Now, what was I saying… oh yes. It is rather hard to tell the differences between the brothers, even Percy admitted to that—not that he's the sharpest demigod there is. And if I recall correctly, Travis is just the slightest bit taller than his brother, but that's one of the only differences. Otherwise, they're identical, but they are not twins."

"Exactly!" Connor agreed. "What she said!"

The course coordinator glared at the two. "Boys, I am not here to teach your class for you. I'm sure you remember my telling you that you were supposed to come in, tell the brats how to spell your names _properly_, point out the Minis, and leave. It should have taken no more than five minutes, but for some reason, you've gone over your time. No, get going, you two are wasting precious time for other classes." She shooed them off the stage, making the mistake of letting them brush by her, then looked at the students. "Well?"

At least fifty hands shot up instantly. "Won't my parents be worried about me?" "Why are we here? I'm good at writing!" "This is child abuse!" and "I WANT MY LEO!" were just a few of the things shouted at the course coordinator.

"Be quiet! All your questions will be answered on Saturday—our first conference. For now, you all need to get going. Go on!" She then reached for her magical golden pocket watch that had secret magical powers, just to find that it was missing. "CONNOR! TRAVIS! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU BOTH!"

And so the students left the room, none of their questions answered. As foolish as they were, they knew that a higher power like Ms. Harvest or Milo could answer their questions, except for the fact that they had barely seen the two in the few days they had been there. Ah well, at least they could look forward to the weekend; maybe they wouldn't have any classes and be free to do what they wanted. Yeah right.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I am so, so, SO sorry for that nearly two month long update period. I truly am! Please forgive me! Hopefully the next chapter will be up in a few weeks, less than a month.**

**And, in response to "A Student": I did in fact get official permission from misscam to write this spin-off.**** The reason I never said so was because, well, if you go to her profile, you will see this line: **_**Concerning the OFUs: If you want to do a spin-off, permission is not required as such - just give proper credit and only borrow the basics, and that's fine. But don't write a carbon copy of the original, please.**_**_  
><em>****When I did happen to ask her about it, she said the same exact thing. Sooo, it was probably a fail on my part not to mention that I did get permission, but that does not mean that I didn't ask about it! Just to clear that up, because I didn't see the need to mention that in the beginning because of her note.**

**That's just about it, and if you have any questions whatsoever, please, feel free to ask. Thanks for reading.**

**~Ms. Harvest**


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay, just as a warning, this chapter deals with lemon near the ending. It's not very detailed or, persay, inappropriate for younger readers, but I'm just letting you know now.**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own anything relating to the copyrights of Percy Jackson and the Olympians or the Heroes of Olympus. And I most definitely do not own the idea of the OFU, I give complete credit to misscam, who owns all rights to this idea, with her original Official Fanfiction University of Middle-earth. Nor do I own any other series and/or franchises that I may or may not make reference to._**

**Chapter Nine—Love VS. Lust: There's a Difference**

_Three, two, one,_ Chloe and Joe mouthed at the same time, staring at the clock hanging in their room. The second it chimed six o'clock, they yelled at the same time: "STUDENTS. GET DRESSED AND COME TO—" But their sentence was left hanging.

"Hmm... That's strange." Joe tilted her head at the simple circular clock when the voice didn't come over the loud speaker. You see, for the few past days the two girls had figured out that the voice came over the intercom at six o'clock sharp every morning, and they decided to chime in—partly to be obnoxious, partly to have a tradition every day.

"Well, it's Saturday, right? I mean, I think it is." Chloe flopped down on her bed. "What if we don't have a set schedule on the weekends?"

"Yeah! Maybe we can sleep in!" Joe dropped her head back into her thin pillow happily.

"I-Imma up!" Max shot up in her bed, smacking her head on the bottom of the upper bunk. "Ow…" She looked around sleepily, then fell back. "Ugh. Classes start in ten minutes, I know."

"Actually, I don't think so," Lexine was already down at the shared desk, looking through a schedule. "It says here we only have one class today, at noon."

"I guess that means we can sleep in…?" Joe guessed.

"Yes!" Max shrieked. "Sleep! My old friend!" She hastily rolled herself back up in her blankets, and was snoring again within a few minutes.

Chloe hung her head upside down to look at her bunk partner. "We can do whatever we want today! At least, I hope so…"

Joe grinned. "We should try to find our way outside and tour Olympus! Maybe we can find the building all the Olympians meet in, and see Zeus and Hera and Poseidon and Hermes!" She let out a little squeal with the last one.

"Sounds cool! But… Olympus is… floating, right?"

Joe raised an eyebrow. "Of course it is…?" The questioning tone of her voice almost said: "Are you an idiot?"

"Oh…" Chloe looked down.

"Why, are you scared of heights or something?" Max asked. Well, more like she muffled out through all the covers.

"I thought you were asleep," Joe put in thoughtfully.

"A girl has rights to be awake, you know!"

"Whatever."

"Don't 'whatever' me, little girl!"

"Hey, you d—"

"Stop!" Lexine exclaimed. "Stop fighting! I'm sick of all of it already! Why did I have to get put in a room where no one gets along?" She smashed her face into the book she was holding.

All three of the girls widened their eyes at their roommate. Lexine Pam had spoken very little and had never once raised her voice for the six days the students had been at the Official Fanfiction University of Olympus.

"I'm sorry…" she said quickly, and spun around in her swivel chair, slightly orange face turned to the wall.

Chloe raised an eyebrow. "Well… we get along just fine—at least, this is fine compared to how _my_ family acts."

Lexine didn't respond.

Max rubbed the back of her neck. "Hey, don't feel bad for shouting. I mean, I know I should shut up sometimes, so feel free to tell me so when you want to. Just… stop being so quiet. Quiet irritates me."

Naturally , no response.

"Gah, fine!" She flung her hands in the air. "I try to be nice and friendly and all that but I _still_ get the cold shoulder. Well, whatever; I'm going back to sleep." Max rolled back up in her covers and was promptly asleep within one minute and thirty-two seconds.

Joe and Chloe exchanged glances and shrugged.

"Well, our plans are still on, right?"

Chloe nodded, and the two girls followed the other's action. Well, Max's, that is, seeing how Lexine didn't really fall asleep on the desk until an hour later. She merely stared at the plain marble wall, missing her family and wondering how she managed to get in a place like this. She never thought her fanfiction stories were _that_ terrible…

* * *

><p>Later that morning at breakfast, many of the students were elated to find food to eat other than cornflakes. Ms. Harvest had insisted that: "They need to eat cornflakes everyday for breakfast so that the precious little brats can get all of their necessary multi-grains so they can be healthy and strong for upcoming classes." Of course, Milo told her that that statement made no sense whatsoever, but the Course Coordinator had ignored her.<p>

And so the students were piling pancakes and waffles and all wonderfully smelling food onto their plates, while Karen Elaine DuLay literally danced around a table loaded with at least seven types of cookies. Next to her, Lucas Arch, Angel of the Lord, scoped out the "pagan temple," but looked pleased that his girlfriend was happy.

Sitting at the table claimed as the official meeting quarters for "Team To Kewl to Learn Stuf in Stupid Skewl," or "TTKTLSISS" for short (officially dubbed by Maximillian Nero, older second cousin twice removed of Raven Yves), Brandon Maverics sighed overdramatically and pushed a long, particularly pesky strand of black hair out of his eyes.

"I mean, they're just lame, you know? They're seriously stupid." The son of Hades droned on, glaring at the Hunters who were sitting at the table across from them.

Armando Verde—another self-proclaimed son of the god of the Underworld—raised an eyebrow at his companion. "What did they ever do to you? Steal your lunch money?"

"No!" Brandon protested. "They just suck. Like, they're totally against guys liking girls. C'mon, it's only natural to! But nooo, they ridicule guys just because they're guys."

"Well, girls altogether are just… gross." Maximillian—who will just be called "Male-Max" to avoid further confusion—stabbed a fork into a pancake soaked in maple syrup and shoved the entire thing into his mouth, earning strange looks from everyone around him. "What?" He took a second to chew and swallow in one big gulp. "I'm pretty sure my fatal flaw is gluttony. No need to look at me like I ate a cow."

"Uh…" Nicholas Baras—who had decided to abandon Macie and Cameron for "cool" people—blinked and shook his head. "That's a really stupid fatal flaw. I mean, at least I have a good one."

"And what's that? Being stupid?" Brandon laughed and took a long sip of orange juice.

"You're an idiot." Nicholas rolled his eyes. "And no, it's being too awesome for my own good. _Duh_."

Male-Max stopped mid chew. "You're joking, right?"

"Why would I do that?"

No one said anything for a moment, then Brandon fist pumped the air. "That's epic, man! Go Team To Kewl to Learn Stuf in Stupid Skewl!"

The rest of the boys were about to join in with the chant, but they were stopped by two very filthy girls.

"Hey, can we sit down here with you? Can we, can we, can we, please, please, please?" One of the girls jumped up and down excitedly.

Armando looked at her in horror. "What _are_ you?" was the only thing he managed to get out.

The one who had spoken was quite the sight to behold. She had a big greasy tangled mess of black hair, which looked as if it had something like skittles braided into it, and yellowish eyes that seemed to be looking everywhere, yet not focusing on any one thing. Looking past the dirt caked all over her, one would see that there was chlorophyll spread throughout, giving her skin blotches of green concentrated in some places. And though her hair looked like it shouldn't be able to move—seeing how utterly disgusting it was—the wind seemed to be moving through it, picking it up here and there almost like she was skydiving—without actually falling, of course. On top of all that, her face was constantly liquefying and melting into dirty water, then would solidify just as quickly as it had shifted.

"Why, I'm Dirt Bag Hobo, of course! I'm a hobo!" She smiled widely, showing off rotten teeth, then shoved skittles into her mouth that she had fished out from an unseen pocket.

"That's not exactly what I meant…" Armando looked down, rubbing the back of his neck.

Dirt Bag's companion stopped her foot impatiently. "Can we sit down or what?"

"Dish Face, don't be such a meanie!" The hobo turned back to the boys. "Excuse my twin's rudeness. So, can we eat with you guys?"

"Well…" Male-Max glanced at the two, then back to his "partners in awesomeness," who were shaking their heads _no_ vigorously. "This table is only for people in TTKTLSISS—and it's kinda, like, a boy-only group. Sorry."

"You don't look very sorry," The one named Dish Face Hobo sneered, and kicked Nicholas—who was the closest to her—in the back.

"Ow! What the heck?" He yelled, rubbing his back, but the crazy girls had already moved on to the next table.

There really wasn't any reason as to why the sisters were asking around to see if they could sit down, seeing how there were so many empty tables around the room. Maybe it's because they wanted to make friends, but they were rejected from every table they had asked at so far; neither of them had any idea as to why that was, of course. The next group they visited happened to be one of the Hunters' many tables, and they were pretty much shooed away so fast that what happened isn't even deserving of dialogue.

Behind the east dining hall wall, where the kitchen was located, a flurry of dishes were being done, hopping from sink to sink by harpies and their sister wind spirits who served the food. In the middle of it all was Ms. Harvest, cooking—and singing—to her heart's content, even though that morning's breakfast was just about done.

"Cooking is so fun! Cooking is so fun!" the teen belted out. "Let's take a break and see what we have dooooone~!"

Milo tried her best to tune out the horribly off-key "singing," as her friend called it, though the hustle and bustle going on around the kitchen helped quite a bit. Even though the Course Coordinator knew that she only had the slightest musical talent when it came to playing the flute, she still insisted on singing.

"C'mon, bestie, sing with me!" Ms. Harvest practically yelled over the noise while whisking the life out of about a dozen eggs.

"Actually, now is one of those times that I would rather n—"

"YOU ARE THE QUEEN AND I AM YOUR SERVANT~! WE'RE A LAMENTABLE PAIR OF TWINS SEPARATED BY OUR FATES~!"

"And she gets on me about my random singing…" Milo grumbled.

"Hey, I have to have music while I'm cooking! I at least _have_ an excuse to sing like a crazy person!"

"Because you are one…?"

Ms. Harvest glared at her, but quickly lost her seriousness. "But I figured; why not sing the best tragedies of the Kagamine twins, especially when _beating_ dead animals to a tender pulp!" She laughed maniacally as she took a mallet and beat down mercilessly on a piece of… something.

"Thanks for ruining some of the saddest songs I've ever heard, A.J."

"Hey, it's _Ms. Harvest_. Honestly, Milo, how long will it take for you to get that straight?" She waved around a butcher knife as she spoke.

"Uh…" Milo blinked. "Why do you keep switching from one thing to another? You have half-cooked pancakes on the griddle, a… pulp of tenderized meat, partially scrambled eggs in that bowl over there—oh, wait, never mind; it just went into the sink."

"No!" she shrieked and dived for a harpy, which was clumsily hovering above the sink, dumping out the mixture, though only a little bit was actually getting to where it was supposed to go. Most of it ended up on the floor, the counter, or other harpies. Just as Ms. Harvest was about to grab the bowl, salvaging the remnant, it slipped out of the creature's grasp and shattered into a shimmering of display of broken glass mixed with yellow egg all over the sink, the floor, the counter, the other harpies, and… that's right: Ms. Harvest.

"You," she seethed in hatred and pointed an egg covered finger. "You miserable excuse for a creature, are going to… **_The Hall_**!" Ominous music of doom played somewhere in the background as the last two words were uttered.

The harpy started squawking wildly, her semi-human face contorted into an expression of pure fear. Ms. Harvest chased the mythological creature around the crowded room, but to no avail. Milo eventually caught her by the sleeve, keeping her from going anywhere.

"Uh… don't you think that sending the innocent creature to… **_The Hall_** is a little overkill?"

Ms. Harvest stopped running in place, and sighed. "I guess you're right; but if it weren't for my love for Ella… that harpy would be in… **_The H_**—" Before the ominous music of doom could even begin, Milo cut in.

"Except for the fact that it's strictly against school rules for any of the faculty to send anybody except for the students down to… **_The Hall_**. If you were to do that, who knows what would happen. You could be banished or sent down to the Underworld to do time or… _worse_." She shuddered.

The Course Coordinator just rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Now c'mon, we have to go find Percy and Tyson."

"Oh, we're still going to do that later?" The redhead sighed, and crossed her arms. "You should have just got it done before the students showed up!"

"Hey, I was busy, and besides, I didn't want to, uh… _inconvenience_ them."

"Inconvenience them my—"

Ms. Harvest grabbed her by the arm and pulled her out of the kitchen and into the dining hall, then turned on the loudspeakers. "Students, make sure you all come to the Grand Council Hall at twelve o'clock sharp. Other than that, you all are free for the rest of the day."

A cheer was sent up as many of the students planned out what they would do with their free time.

* * *

><p>A few hours later, the planned meeting hall was swarming with hundreds of bad!fic authors and Mini Furies, who were keeping a close eye on their creators, or dragging in students who decided that they were too "kewl" to come to class.<p>

A few moments later, the Course Coordinator and her secretary walked onto the stage, calling out for them all to settle. Ms. Harvest tapped on a microphone, and cleared her throat.

"Hello, brats, and welcome to your first conference. This is how things are going to work around here: every other Saturday, we will be having a conference—yes, I know it's a big word, but it simply means that we will be meeting in this room to discuss a subject that we feel only needs one class to go over. Sometimes it'll be a preview of classes you will be taking in future semesters, and today's will be a slight mix of the two. At the beginning of each meeting I will give you time to express any questions or concerns, and we will answer them to the best of our abilities. So, any questions?"

The room was silent, then all at once burst into a madhouse of questions.

Ms. Harvest crossed her arms, and calmly spoke into the microphone. "If you do not stop, I will have Percy executed on the stage right here and now."

One collective gasp filled the room, while Milo muttered: "**_The Hall_**… you don't want to go there!"

"I'm not going to really do that, you moron!" she hissed, then turned back to the students. "That's better. Now, if you have a question, raise—your—_hand_. It's quite simple, actually."

Hundreds of hands shot up.

Ms. Harvest scanned the crowd, then picked one student out. "Miss Yves, what is it?"

"I _still_ don't believe that we're actually on Olympus. What should make us trust you that this is really real, and that your so called "cast" isn't just a bunch of really good cosplayers?"

She smiled like she was explaining something to a preschooler and likewise used a voice to fit it. "Now, if you didn't really believe this was real, why have you been picking fights about who gets little Mister Nico di Angelo? Which, I also find amusing, since you signed up as a Hunter of Artemis." She added with a smirk.

Raven's face flushed, and she stamped her foot. Being in the crowded room she was in, her Hunter's boot landed on that of her cousin. Male-Max yelped and shoved his elbow into her, causing her to slap him in the face.

Ms. Harvest had a rather hard time keeping herself from laughing, but she cleared her throat again and continued. "To answer your question, you don't have any reason to trust me, and you can just keep on believing that these in-the-flesh Percy and Annabeth and everyone else are just extraordinary cosplayers. Or," she said in mock fascination, "You could just believe that you're in a distorted dream, filled with people who are just figments of your imagination, and that it really _won't_ hurt you if a frying pan somehow gets imbedded into your skull!" With this, Milo pulled said object out from behind her back. It's debatable where she was hiding it, but that's not the point.

"Now, further, you all _are_ on Olympus—and believe you me, it's just as real as your mother is. Just… not quite the same way. You see, there are three different, ah, how do I put this… well, you could call them 'worlds,' I guess. There is the physical world which all of us experience; the spiritual world, but now is not an appropriate time to get into that; and finally, there is the fictional world. What we call 'Time' only exists in the physical realm, but in the fictional realm of reality—which you are currently in—there is no sense of Time. Yes, if we were to stay here for years, we would all age, but we never truly… stop existing. The fictional realm exists in a place between time and space, and what you brats do not realize is that every time you load one of your monstrosities onto the site known as Fanfiction, you are destroying this extraordinary world! That is why we have brought you here, so that hopefully, this 'verse can return to the pristine beauty it once was, though… that really is physically impossible…"

The tone of her voice—it was rather hard to figure out exactly what emotions she was trying to display—made more than a few fan authors hang their heads in shame. Some were sincere, and decided at that moment that when they got home, they would delete their atrocities, and some just did it to avoid the Course Coordinator's cold, green-eyed stare.

A dark blonde mortal girl raised her hand timidly, afraid to look Ms. Harvest in the eye.

"Yes, Miss Kinnon?"

"So…" Hayley stiffened her voice. "When we go to the, uh, physical world, will everything that happened here affect us… there? Like, will we have any memories? Scars? Anything?"

For an unknown reason, her gaze softened a little. "After the night of your graduation, you will wake up in your own home, the same day you would wake up as if you had never been here. But you will have all your memories, but none of your lasting wounds; I like to call it the Narnia Effect. It's doubtful that you will ever see me, Milo, or any of the real life canon ever again. The best you will probably do would be finding your fellow classmates, that is, if you trade usernames and whatnot. But that's enough of that!" She clapped her hands together. "It's time for your lesson: 'What is Love?'"

Many of the fangirls—and fanboys—in the room left their resolve in the dust and perked up immediately. _Love_? Oh, this was right up their alley!

"Milo, please explain to them what this is while I go get the materials." Ms. Harvest nodded at her friend and walked off of the stage.

The other teenager stepped up to the microphone and smiled. "This conference will be foreshadowing a few classes you will be attending in the future. First, we will briefly go over platonic love, then the difference between lust and love, and finally, lemon." Milo paled on the last word, and looked as though she would pass out from sickness.

No one would have noticed if she did faint from nausea, seeing how the whole room erupted in excited chatter.

"_Settle_ _down_!" she nearly yelled into the microphone after her dizzy spell passed, but then, remembering Ms. Harvest's words to her about being their "friend," she scrounged around for a sweeter tone. "_Please_ settle down—yes, good students. Now, firstly, we have platonic love, which is—"

A hand shot up before she could finish.

Milo sighed. "What is it now?"

"Uh…" Hartanna Firemist tapped her index fingers together. "I don't know what that means."

She had to bight her tongue to keep herself from snapping at the student. "That's what I'm trying to explain," Milo seethed out. "Now, if you all would just _listen_, I could do just that."

She looked to the right side of the stage, where Ms. Harvest was wheeling out an easel with a large notepad on it.

"So, as I was saying, platonic love is the love between, say, a mother and her son, whereas—"

"Are you saying that platonic love is _incest_?" Eponine Stone blurted out.

"Eww, whatever that is, it sounds icky." Jordan Santiago stuck out her tongue and shook her head, flinging saliva all over Eponine and Macie McGuire, who were on either side of the crazy girl.

"No!" Milo growled, then corrected her tone. "It is _non-romantic love_. Why can't you just understand that?"

"We know it's a hard concept for your puny brains to understand," Ms. Harvest put in from behind the easel, where she busy scribbling away. "But just watch, you'll get it in no time!"

"Right…" she sighed, and pushed a strand of dark red hair out of her eyes. "Now, platonic love is like… the relationship between Percy and Grover; it's—"

"Slash?" Dish Face Hobo squealed.

"Do I have permission to throw this?" she help up the mysterious frying pan, but Ms. Harvest shook her head in objection. "Fine… but _no_; it is not slash, incest, or any type of romantic love. Platonic love is simply that: non-romantic feelings of care or affection. It can be described as strictly friendship or the love of a family. There is no—and that means _no_—feelings of romance. Nada, zip, _zero_."

"I would be taking notes on this if I were you," Ms. Harvest poked her head out for the students to see. "It's some pretty deep stuff for you guys to handle."

Milo paused for a second to flip through some notes. "Right. So… all of you will be attending a class on this within the next quarter, or in about, oh… twelve weeks or so? Yeah; so be looking forward to that."

"B-but, I want to get to _romance_! Not stupid… non-romance!" Nicholas yelled, and more than half of the room murmured in the agreement.

"Well, you all apparently are overly familiar with romance, so it's not necessary to go over right now."

A collective sigh of disappointment reached Milo's ears, and she held up her hands. "But you will be having an actual course on how to right romance properly later this year. So don't get all angsty over it—that really annoys me. Now," she turned to Ms. Harvest, "Are you ready for your part of this?"

The Course Coordinator nodded and wheeled the easel around for everyone to see. The students squinted and strained their necks to see what exactly was scrawled on it; they were undoubtedly stick figures, but what they were doing was debatable. On the top of the page, two simple circle-headed people were either head-butting each other or kissing; knowing Ms. Harvest, they were probably doing the first option. In the middle were the letters VS in bold black letters, and on the bottom was a mess of things. It seemed that one poor stick man had a spear sticking out of his abdomen, while a girl stood behind him, tiny arms covering her O mouth. In front was a rather sinister looking man, whose face drawn as simple as this: :D. No, this is not a flip example; it was actually drawn on its side.

"Uh… what is that?" Milo questioned before any of the students could.

She simply shushed her and started her portion of the lecture. "Now, you will not be getting a lesson like this anytime for the rest of the year—and no, I'm not going to indulge you all in teaching you how to write lemon; that is completely unnecessary. To start this off, we will be talking about the differences of _love_ and _lust_. There _is_ a difference." She unstrapped a tazer blade and pointed at the first picture.

"Lust is having Percy and Annabeth or Travis and Katie—which I have seen before—or any other couple for that matter make out with each other at random times; totally uncalled for, people!"

"B-but, that's how they show their true looooove for one another!" Jordan practically screamed, then broke down into tears.

"Uh…" Ms. Harvest blinked, then shook her head. "No, no it is _not_. If you have any knowledge on Percy's character, he will not just randomly try to get Annabeth to make out with him. He was raised better than that, and definitely has more respect for her than to do something so… so… nevermind. Oh, and before you give me the 'But he's a guy!' speech, I agree—but that does not mean he just can't control himself. It goes the same way for his girlfriend."

"But what about Travis? We barely get any characterization on him! Besides, he's totally a player." Macie called out.

"No, he is not 'totally a player.' If we don't have enough proof that he's _not_, than we most definitely do not have proof that he _is_." She let a frustrated growl slip. "What you don't realize is that I'm trying my very best not to be too biased on this subject, seeing how I do not support Tratie even a little bit. But still." She tapped the picture again for emphasis. "There are many other examples of lust, but this is probably the easiest for you to get. Basically, lust is a purely physical desire; it really doesn't have much to do with romantic feelings, and when you _idiots_ make the characters go completely OOC and French kiss whenever you think it 'fits,' that just proves how little you know about the canon. The only time this is appropriate is when it's actually in the characters nature to do this, and with probably the entire cast, it is not appropriate. There may be one or two exceptions, but that is _completely_ beside the point."

No one asked any questions, so Ms. Harvest moved down to the second picture.

"Now, love is sacrificial; love is sincere; _love is when you're willing to lay down your life for that special someone_. It is not making out every other scene, nor is it lemon. An excellent example of actual love is pictured in _The Last Olympian_, when Annabeth takes the sword for Percy when Ethan Nakamura tries to stab him in his Achilles spot, which undoubtedly would have _killed_ him painfully. Love is not a _feeling_; it's an _action_. It is one of the most powerful things in the universe; it's a drive, a fuel for people to do irrational things for those they love; it can be portrayed as genuine romance, but it is not—and this is extremely important for you to understand—I repeat _not_ what you guys portray as 'love.' Most of the time, it's just lust that you write about; it won't have any lasting effects."

"Two other good examples of both types of platonic love—family and friendship—from other series could be these," Milo piped up. "In the Hunger Games, when Katniss Everdeen volunteers to take the place of her younger sister in the games; and though I hate those books, I must admit that it's an excellent example of platonic love. An example of friendship would be part of the ending of Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep, when Aqua sacrifices herself to save Terra, even though he was possessed by Xehanort, and ended up falling into the Realm of Darkness where she has been for ten plus years."

"I always get misty-eyed when I watch that scene," Ms. Harvest added, and Milo nodded in agreement. "Also, an example of non-platonic love could be seen in Avatar: The Last Airbender. At the end of the Boiling Rock episodes, when Mai puts herself in between her boyfriend and his sister so that he could escape, she's a clear example of it when she states that she loves Zuko more than she fears Azula. So basically, you can see pictures of what platonic love and 'true love' really look like in every series, all you have to do is keep your eye out."

"So, anything you don't understand?" The secretary looked expectantly around the room.

"Let me get this straight," Hartanna called out in a challenging tone. "You two are saying that when two people are truly in love, they don't kiss, they don't touch, and the only thing they ever do is sacrifice themselves for one another? That doesn't sound like the love I know."

Both of the Staff on stage had to take a second to wipe the shocked expressions off of their faces. "Well…" Ms. Harvest ran her fingers through her long bangs and adjusted her glasses, something she did anytime she was put on the spot. "Maybe we didn't quite explain that the best way… Uh, how about this: when two people are in love, yes, they kiss; yes, they hold hands and all that. But only in your warped little imaginations are they all over each other every other minute of their sorry OOC lives."

"Exactly," Milo agreed. "This is one way to tell whether you're writing 'true love' or 'true lust.'"

Hartanna's smirk of victory of tripping up a teacher quickly turned into a glare. "Yeah, but if I recall correctly, you've mentioned something about not liking lemon… well, normal people have sex!"

Ms. Harvest cringed slightly. "Miss Firemist, I would highly prefer it if you were not so, ah… _blunt_ with that term. We will be calling it lemon, end of story."

"You are so—"

"Nooooow, seeing how we are already on the subject, this will be the last thing we will be discussing today."

Most of the students cheered, but were quickly shot down by the Staffs' disgusted looks.

"I could rage at all of you about this subject, and scare you worse than if Saïx himself was coming at you in Berserker Mode!" Ms. Harvest snarled.

"Uh… I doubt most of them understand what that is," Milo nudged her associate.

"Huh? Oh, well… scratch that. You would be more frightened than if _Ares_ himself charged at you, twenty feet tall with a bloody chainsaw in his hand!"

"I could understand Saïx, but I think that's a bit overboard with Ares and all…" she murmured.

"Fine then; scarier than Clarisse with her electric spear!"

"She's gonna pulverize you for that later."

"Whatever!" Ms. Harvest put her hands up, then let out an irritated sigh. "But seriously, it really is unnecessary. This class period is almost over, so we'll be going over what it is very quickly—because I know there are those of you out there who don't know what it is. Simply, lemon is explicit sexual scenes in a story. All of you are too young to be reading or writing trash like that, so we are not going to teach you how to write it even a little bit. Besides, like we've mentioned before, Percy is respectable enough to not try getting Annabeth to sleep with him; same goes for Jason and Piper, Hazel and Frank, and all of the other teen couples in the books. And honestly, why would you even write something like that for the gods too? Are you seriously just that bored—no wait, are you just that _sick_? Yes, it's a part of human nature, but no, it is NOT necessary to write into a fanfiction!

"I have seen my fair share of perfectly innocent stories go into nasty stuff like this, with absolutely _no warning_! If you're story has lemon in it, mark it as _M_, not _T_. There; my rant is done. Now, if I catch any one of you writing lemon in my university, or trading stories containing it with others, believe me, I have some empousai who are hungry for some good flesh. That is all." Ms. Harvest stomped off the stage, and Milo quickly ran to the center microphone.

"Oh, one other term you should be familiar with is lime; it's not lemon, but it refers to stuff like that. Kind of like… off the scene lemon. Now, you all are free to do what you like for the rest of today and tomorrow, but we are giving you extra homework to do. You'll receive your packets on the way out, and you will return them to the correct classes on Monday. Dismissed."

The students got up to start leaving with a groan, and Milo ran back to the center stage.

"One more thing: do not leave the building. I'm pretty sure none of you will be able to even find the exits, but you have been warned." She then followed Ms. Harvest's course off the stage, leaving the students curious, and undoubtedly ready to search for a way out of the gigantic university.

Milo found Ms. Harvest standing in front of the secret door carved into the marble of one of the walls in the Staff Section. "Ready to go?"

The secretary nodded, and watched as her friend pulled out a torch from her pack, light it, and flick the match onto the floor. "Is that really necessary?"

"Of course, it adds to the experience!" Her eyes shined adventurously from behind her glasses. She then searched along the wall for a slightly indented square. "There we go."

The door slid open, and a gust of cool air was let out at the two, smelling of mildew and damp stone. Ms. Harvest charged down the slippery stairs, Milo in tow.

"Don't you think this is kind of… unnecessary?" Milo asked, looking around in disgust. "I mean, you would see a dungeon-like place in the Labyrinth, not in a good school."

Ms. Harvest swept the orange flame through a cobweb, then smiled back at her companion. "I'm just thinking that in case a brat somehow finds this passage, it'll disturb them enough to leave; I mean, the rats and skeletons should really freak those sissies out, right?"

"I guess…" she squinted as the door in front of them opened, and two heads poked through.

"We've been waiting for hours! Seriously, how long does it take for you to teach one class?" Percy asked as the two climbed up into daylight.

"Percy, you've only been waiting here for a half hour; it's not that bad, just your ADHD acting up." Milo explained.

"I use this watch to see how much time!" Tyson held up a golden pocket watch.

"Hey, where did you get that?" Ms. Harvest grabbed for the object, but the Cyclopes held it above her head. "No, don't take watch! It's Tyson's watch!" Ms. Harvest continued jumping for it, but Tyson just kept it from her and laughed. "Funny mortal girl can't get it! Hah hah hah!"

Percy shook his head, then turned to Milo. "He really did time it, and it has been a few hours. So why did it take you so long?"

"Well… when did you get here?" The Course Coordinator stopped what she was doing to look at the demigod.

"Right after breakfast, like you said?"

"Idiot! I told you at noon, not after breakfast!"

Tyson put the watch into his pocket and crossed his arms grumpily. "Brother Percy is no idiot. That is mean!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever," Ms. Harvest waved it aside, and started walking down the floating path. "So, are we going to go or not?"

Percy rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "I guess… but I can't promise that everything is going to work out—I've never even been there before."

"It'll be fine!" She looked over the edge, and tossed the torch, which was still burning. "Oops."

The others quickly followed, unaware of what terrible things were going to happen in their absence.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I'm sorry! Really! I was supposed to update this last weekend, but out of a mix of laziness, preoccupied... ness, and other things, I didn't finish this chapter in time! But this one is the longest one so far! BE HAPPY. A good two thousand words longer than most of the other ones. So, please forgive me, I have not gone on hiatus, nor have I given up on this story, these chapters just take me forever to write! Oh, and on that subject...**

**Updates are going to be a little lengthy from now on, as you have seen already. I have quite a few other stories going on, not to mention I'm working on the beginning stages of my own novel, and I'm delving into other things, like fan art and possible cosplay, so honestly, this story is going to take a deal of time to complete. Consider yourself lucky if you get a new chapter every single month. So, don't worry, I have not fallen off the face of the earth, nor have I been kidnapped by ninjas (thanks for your concern, Chica ;) I'm just... busy. And lazy.**

**Also, teacher positions are CLOSED. I forgot to mention that last chapter.**

**Last thing: I tried to include every student in this chapter, so if you have not seen your student in any chapter of this story so far, please do let me know. Thanks :D**

**Until next time,**

**~Ms. Harvest**


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